Delicious Soul
by optimisticrealist72
Summary: The night Harry comes to age, Remus Lupin is jerked awake by a terrible feeling. His desired mate, whom he presumed dead, was alive. Seventeen, but alive. Should be happy, right? Except that his mate was dying. As he races to rescue his unknown mate, the thought doesn't even pass his mind - who is his mate? Rated for extreme abuse. Slash RL/HP
1. Mine

**Title: Delicious Soul**

**Side-Pairings:** Ron/Hermione, Neville/Draco, Severus/Lucius, Past-Sirius/Remus, Sirius/Fred/George, Seamus/Dean

**Warnings:** Slash, Abusive!Dursleys, Threesome, AU, OOC, M-Preg. (Abuse includes verbal, mental, physical, and object penetration. You have been warned.)

**Rating:** M for extreme explicit abuse and future sexual implications.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter. All belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Archives**: Fanfiction

**Summary:** The night Harry comes to age, Remus Lupin is jerked awake by a terrible feeling. His desired mate, whom he presumed dead, was alive. Seventeen, but alive. Should be happy, right? Except that his mate was _dying._ As he races to rescue his unknown mate, the thought doesn't even pass his mind - who _is_ his mate?

**Start Date: 5/31/11**

**Edit Date: 3/25/14**

A_/N: I still don't know whether I'll finish this story, but I'm going to attempt it. Things have been added to this story and it is being edited._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter One: Mine<strong>

**Chapter Warnings: Slash, Language, Abuse via Vernon in the form of verbal, physical, and object penetration. This is not a chapter for the faint of heart. **

Remus woke with a start, his breath harsh as a chill traveled like spiders over his spine. His dirty blond hair was mussed from tossing and turning through the night, his eye blood-shot with deep shadows underneath them. Light brown eyes still clung with remnants from the past full moon, merely a week ago, and were swirled with amber. Sweat dripped down his face, traveling down until it rolled off his chin to fall onto the mangled comforter. Remus's labored panting was the only sound in the room, coming out in heavy gasps as he struggled to recollect himself. Insomnia had been plaguing him since the last full moon, a rarity, as normally the traces of the wolf would have left him by now. He was constantly restless, though, and sleep was becoming harder and harder to come by. His wolf had been antsy, itching to get out no matter how far away the moon was, fighting to be in control. Remus had a foreboding sense of dread, as if something terrible was going to happen. Every bump in the night startled him, every slightly out of ordinary event made him suspicious, nothing seemed to calm him; his paranoia was in overdrive. Not that terrible things happening was an odd occurrence, they were at war, after all. But this... It seemed much worse than some raid or battle, if possible. His mind hadn't felt so troubled in a long while, and this struck a chord of fear in his heart. Fear was a constant companion nowadays, and he wasn't foolish enough to deny it. Fear kept people alive, though with consequence.

A clap of thunder went through the air and Remus's eyes darted up, taking in his surroundings before landing on the clock. _Midnight. What could wake me up at midnight? _He knew it wasn't the storm; the small town had been having thunderstorms all week. Cracks of thunder and flashes of lightning weren't enough to wake him. Remus wasn't exactly a heavy sleeper, but he had learned to block out inconsequential noise after spending seven years of his life sleeping next to a snoring Sirius. Though the habit had faded, that still wasn't a reason as to why he would wake up in the middle of the night. He lay back in his bed, a sigh escaping his lips. Sleep eluded him; despite his mental weariness, his mind was simply too awake now.

As if to answer his previous ponderings, a strange feeling of rightness filled his chest, as if everything in the world was fixed. Remus Lupin was suddenly no longer a werewolf, no longer had to deal with paying for food, and no longer had to help fight off a certain Dark Lord. As if he had no need to look over his shoulder, no need to worry about his few family and friends left, no need to hate, and no need to live in fear. Euphoria filled him, and the world seemed golden. The dam of pain had disintegrated and joy flowed through him with the force of a waterfall. Nothing could compare to this high. Not when the Marauders first became his friends, not when they exemplified their acceptance by becoming animagi for him, not when he first held baby Harry, not even when Sirius was discovered as innocent and he finally regained the two most important people to him, Harry and Sirius. Remus had never felt this happy and at peace before in his life. Nothing else mattered anymore. Everything was right in the universe for that one second. And then it all came crashing down around him.

Pain ricocheted through his chest and he was out of his bed in moments. He was a flurry of action, pure instinct guiding him. Clothes flew everywhere as he struggled to get dressed, while some part of his brain, the animalistic side, noticed his frantic movements for what they were. _Mate, mate, mate, mate! Mate's in pain! Must save Mate! _Dressed and armed with his wand, Remus didn't waste time putting on a coat before he rushed out into the rain, urgency pounding through his body. He was soaked to the core in seconds, but nothing could stop him. Logic had left him, and he had one goal in mind. To save his mate.

Lightning illuminated his lithe frame as a silent _pop_ echoed through the night and Remus disappeared from sight.

His mate was hurt.

* * *

><p>Harry was lying on his side, curled in a ball as he faced the blinking red numbers on one of Dudley's old clocks, which happened to be five minutes fast. He resided in the smallest bedroom of Number 4 Privet Drive and rested on a long ago broken cot, stained lightly with his own blood. Rejected toys littered the walls, forgotten over time. Dust lightly coated nearly every surface, gathered from lack of use, as Harry couldn't touch most things in here even if he wanted to. Thunder crashed outside his barred window, but Harry took no notice. He was watching the clock, 11:55 it read. Ten minutes until his seventeenth birthday, till he came of age. Ten minutes until he could grab his trunk and leave this house forever, maybe to live with Sirius or Remus. Ten minutes until his suffering at the hands of his relatives could end. Ten minutes until he was free. Though the numbers were blurred, his glasses having been crushed due to Dudley reliving the days of 'Harry Hunting', he could tell he had ten minutes left. He sat up slowly and painstakingly, wincing. A wound on his back protested and his broken rib gave a twinge, but he managed to sit up, leaning heavily on the wall beside his bed.<p>

Uncle Vernon hadn't taken well to being threatened at the end of Harry's fifth year. Before then, it had mostly been neglect with a few beatings thrown in. He had impossible chore lists and was punished constantly, but only with lack of food. Only if he did something major did he get a real thrashing. Mostly, he was just ignored. Now, though? The chores had grown harder and more ridiculous, often tedious and pointless. Any food at all became scarce, and when he received some, it was only burnt scraps. While they let him keep his school things with the promise he would not use them, he was punished daily. Beatings became more and more frequent, his uncle giving him barely any recovery time in between. The chores piled up regardless, though, and he was still expected to complete them despite his physical condition. From dropping a dish, burning food, or even for something as obscure as "contaminating the morning paper with his freakishness", he was punished. This had been going on for two summers now. Every year when he returned to school, he was careful to apply glamours on the train and show no pain, no discomfort. He couldn't have more people worrying about him, or anyone trying to help or take him away. It would just lead to his uncle escalating as Dumbledore was adamant in him staying there. Every once in a while he'd catch a concerned glance from his teachers when he limped or skipped a meal, though. Harry's stomach seemed to shrink every year, being unable to hold much food without throwing up. He was the shortest kid in his year and probably the shortest in the sixth and fifth years, too, due to living in a cramped cupboard for the first eleven years of his life. Malnutrition was taking its toll on Harry, and everyone seemed to notice.

Harry had to get out before tomorrow. He had no other choice. His uncle had found out the one thing that could have possibly made him more of a freak then he already was. He had discovered Harry was gay. Harry hadn't meant to leave his letter from Hermione lying about, but he didn't expect to be gone from his room for long. Uncle Vernon saw the regular, muggle post, though, and read it, trying to figure out what a _normal _person would want with someone unnatural like Harry. Of course, it had to be the one letter Hermione mentioned his sexuality, attempting to reassure him about it. And if there was one thing Vernon hated more than motorcycles or even wizards, it was homosexuals. He ranted about them daily, saying they were the biggest freaks of nature to inhabit this planet, and he was rooting for them to just be locked up and done away with. Harry had no doubt in his mind that he would die tomorrow if he did not escape; there wasn't a greater sin in his uncle's mind. Uncle Vernon had gone to sleep without touching him that night, leaving the beating to Dudley, as he had an important meeting in the morning. But Harry had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he was just planning, waiting for the opportune moment to pounce. If anything, killing him tonight would have put him in a better mood for his meeting. Nothing cheered him up like bloodying Harry up a bit. If he was going to kill Harry, he'd have to make sure Harry suffered as much as possible before he went. And the teen didn't plan on staying around long enough to find out what torture he had in store.

Nine minutes. Harry stood slowly, biting his lip to hold back a gasp of pain. His whole body throbbed with pain; it seemed Dudley was getting just as efficient as his father in beating him. Hobbling over to his trunk, he pulled it back to the broken cot, taking a seat with a sigh of relief. He'd been slowly packing for days, anxiously awaiting his departure after he turned seventeen. He had decided to leave at midnight, despite the late hour. Harry didn't notice that the sound of his trunk scraping across the floor had happened during a calm spot in the storm, making it louder than he would have wished. Glancing around the room to make sure everything was packed, Harry froze like a deer in the headlights when he heard his uncle's snores falter for a moment.

Eight minutes. Harry heard a muffled grunt, a bed creak under enormous weight. His uncle grumbled, heavy footsteps thudding against the ground as he made his way to his door. Harry's breath caught in his throat. This wasn't boding well for him, not at all. Emerald eyes darted to the window, but it was hopeless as the bars still caged him in. Glancing toward the door, he tried to calculate how much time he had to make a break for it. Not much, judging by the thundering footsteps that were sounding closer and closer every passing second. Despite being disrupted from his slumber, his uncle was making a beeline toward his room, as if to make sure Harry couldn't escape. He was sure to be enraged from being woken up so abruptly, and that would only exacerbate his earlier anger. Harry was out of time. He pushed the trunk hastily away with his feet, wincing as it scraped along the floorboards. It was soon at the end of his bed, and he scampered backwards, gasping for breath at the pain in his ribs. Curling into himself at the top corner of his bed, Harry couldn't help but think that this feeling, this absolute _terror _for his life, not someone else's, was the feeling one must get before they died, before their life was snatched into Death's cold grasp. There was nothing he could do now but wait for it.

Five minutes. Locks slid open outside his door and he squeezed his eyes shut, waiting and listening. The door creaked open slowly, which he was sure his uncle did purposely, to add dramatic effect, to make Harry's heart rate increase. He didn't speak yet - probably saving his voice for the actual beating. His uncle tended to yell bruising words at him while he punished him, trying to inflict as much pain as possible, whether it is mental or physical. Harry's eyes opened just as lightning flashed across the room, outlining his uncle's obese form. In that glimpse of the man, Harry saw the cruel, sadistic smirk, beady eyes filled with loathing, and a metal bat held at the ready in his hand. Eyes closed again, he heard the air whistle past the bat as it struck his shoulder, along with the shattering crack of his bone. He barely made a sound, biting his lip to keep him from crying out. He couldn't let himself scream. Showing it hurt, showing pain through any sounds at all just enraged his uncle further.

"Well, freak?" Another hit, this time along the back. "No one to help you this time, none of your _freaky _friends to save you now?" Vernon grunted out, hit after hit, watching with cruel satisfaction as blood stained Harry's shirt. The boy in question was biting his lip hard enough to break the skin, tasting blood, yet not letting himself even whimper.

"They don't _care_, either, you freak! You worthless waste of space!" Another crack went through the room, the pain forcing Harry to open his eyes. "You fucking faggot! We give you a home, shelter, food; we've clothed your back for years and even found the kindness in our hearts to feed you, a worthless FREAK that was dumped on our doorstep because no one else cared enough to take you! You parents just had to go and get themselves blown up! I bet they hated you, too! Who would want a worthless piece of shit like yourself? A _faggot_ like you, a poofter!" He threw in a hit, sometimes even a kick for effect, as if to get the message to sink in. Harry felt anger swell up inside him, but not at the man who was beating him. No - at _himself. I am a freak, a waste of space. Uncle Vernon's right, no one could like me, no one could care. _His thoughts continued, colored with self-loathing, so distracted he actually let a whimper of pain out. That caused Vernon to hit harder, panting with renewed effort. "SHUT UP, BOY!" He dropped the bat, letting it to clatter to the floor, and yanked Harry's head up by his hair, causing him to gasp in pain as his injuries protested. Silent tears streaked down his. Multiple broken bones, he could tell already. There was no way he could survive this. That, though, Harry had expected. A sadistic smile crossed his uncle's face.

"I'll show you how we deal with _freaks _around here." He had obviously prepared this before entering Harry's room, for he pulled five length of thick rope from his pocket. Harry knew what they were for; he had done this before. His uncle liked to make sure all of him was hurt, and usually had Harry near naked for this special punishment as well. He liked to see all the pain he caused, reveled in seeing the dark bruises form. He was sadistic like that. So it was no surprise as he was yanked harshly, each wrist and ankle being tied before one went up to go in his mouth, gagging him. He bit the sweaty rope in pain, his injuries being jostled this way and that. Harry bit down as hard as he could, sobs building up in him as he struggled to calm down. Then, his uncle left. Glancing up when no immediate pain came, he saw his uncle enter his room again, this time with a metal flashlight. Harry stared at it, confused, as his uncle ripped _all _his clothes from his body. The chill hair settled over him, renewed fear flooding through him.

"You're going to learn your lesson, freak, and then I won't ever have to worry about you darkening this household again." Emerald eyes widened with realization as he felt meaty hands on his arse. He started to struggle, eyes wide with panic as he tried to speak. Cold metal touched his entrance and he screamed around the rope. Anything but this, he would take a thousand beatings over, but this… He couldn't handle this. Harry was consumed by his wild fear, and he struggled to his fullest extent, to no avail.

"Happy birthday, freak!" Cold metal tore his insides as it brutally entered him, sending unimaginable pain through his body, bloody and bruised. The last thing he saw before he passed out was his clock striking 12:05. Happy birthday, indeed.

* * *

><p>Remus was in such a hurry, he didn't find anything unusual when he apparated to Number 4 Privet Drive, didn't make the connection in his frantic brain. All he could do was follow the pull to his mate, follow his instincts. The smell of blood was emanating from the fairly normal house and Remus growled under his breath. Striding to the door, he drew his wand with hands quivering in anger. Opening the door, he carefully followed the smell of blood up the stairs and to the first door on the right, near the middle of the hallway. Multiple locks adorned the door, along with a cat flap that had Remus growling again, quietly so not to alert the enemy, the person who dared hurt <em>his <em>mate. They'd pay, for sure. No one could get away with hurting his mate. The smell of blood reeked here, and Remus didn't even bother with _alohomora_. No, he kicked the door in, angered beyond belief at the sight before him. Red clouded his vision as he seethed. A fat muggle, with a bloody bat lying next to him, was pounding a metal _thing _in and out of his precious _mate_! The same mate that was bound to a broken cot, completely unconscious. He growled loudly, startling the whale of man, who jumped back from _his _mate as if he had been burned, turning to look for the source of the sound. How _dare _that man hurt someone so precious?

"WHO THE RUDDY HELL-"

"Stupefy!" Remus ground out, watching with a sick satisfaction as the man fell to the floor in the middle of his rant. Stepping around the man, he rushed to hismate'sside, not taking in the boy's features, just easing the flashlight's handle out of his mate's abused entrance. Remus choked on anguish and fury, wanting to turn around and torture the man for all he was worth, but he needed to tend to his mate first. He could come back later to deal with the man responsible for all of his mate's pain - right now, his mate's life was slowly slipping away, and that was his first priority.

The broken man was lying on his stomach, so he couldn't have seen his face if he wanted to - he didn't care who is was, as long as he was safe. Cutting the rope that bound and gagged him, Remus wrapped him in a slightly bloody, ragged, and threadbare blanket. Lifting him gently in his arms, he winced as his mate let out a soft moan of pain in his sleep. As much as he wished he could be gentler, there wasn't enough time; he had to get his mate to safety as soon as possible. Glancing down to get a glimpse of his precious mate's face, Remus froze. From unruly black hair, matted with blood, to the lightning shaped scar that adorned his forehead, Remus instantly recognized his mate, his best friend's son, the man he already had an unconditional love for, and after only knowing they were mates for approximately six minutes. The world threatened to tilt on its axis as he tried to cope, but he found he couldn't care at the moment. It didn't matter now. Right now, all that mattered was making Harry safe, his mate. Amber eyes glanced at the packed trunk, and he grabbed it with one hand while carrying his surprisingly light mate in the other arm. For once glad for the special port-key Albus had insisted on him having, he spoke the password before disappearing from Privet Drive.

"Mine."

* * *

><p><strong>Review please!<br>Words in the Unedited Chapter, just the story: 3,443 (One of my shortest chapters. Ever.)  
>Words for Unedited Whole Chapter: 3,593 (I talk too much, obviously.)<strong>

_I added quite a bit to this chapter and edited it myself. Personally, I feel like I improved it. Let me know what you think!_


	2. Safety

**Title: Delicious Soul**

**Side-Pairings:** Ron/Hermione, Neville/Draco, Severus/Lucius, Past-Sirius/Remus, Sirius/Fred/George, Seamus/Dean

**Warnings:** Slash, Abusive!Dursleys, Threesome, AU, OOC, M-Preg. (Abuse includes verbal, mental, physical, and object penetration. You have been warned.)

**Rating:** M for extreme explicit abuse and future sexual implications.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own. All belongs to J.K. Rowling. Some minor plot points may have been used in another story - I do not mean to steal anything. It is done subconsciously, and only when I read through it did I notice some things seemed slightly familiar.

**Archives:** Fanfiction

Chapter Uploaded: 6/12/11

Chapter Edited: 3/25/14

_A/N: Thank you for all the continued support! I edited this chapter and added on to it. Hopefully it's much better than before. I deleted the review replies at the bottom; I will no longer be replying publically unless you're an anonymous reviewer as it takes up too much space. I will try and privately thank every reviewer, though, because you are wonderful!_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Two: Safety<strong>

**Chapter Warnings: Slash, Mentions of severe abuse, Snape!OOC**

There was a familiar hook in his stomach and the feeling of being yanked through the air. Colors distorted and the surroundings melted away and soon all the occupants could feel was the rushing air and that squelching sickness and unsteadiness that came with port-keys. With a jolt, Remus's feet hit the ground in the Hogwarts Infirmary, jostling his precious package. Since Albus had personally created this port-key in case he or his mate was ever in danger, it brought them directly into Hogwarts, bypassing the wards. Remus had originally scoffed at the idea; if his mate hadn't come of age by then, he was most likely dead, and so the port-key wouldn't be much of use to him. He was glad he had it now, though, and briefly reminded himself to thank Albus later.

Remus wasted no time calling out for help, rushing over to an empty bed, and waiting for the nurse to come out to place his beloved on the sterile sheets. He didn't want to further injure Harry and was extra careful not to aggravate his already fragile condition.

"Poppy! I have an emergency, come quick! _Poppy!" _His frantic shouts cut through the night air like a knife, and soon the matron was bustling out of her connected quarters, dressed only in her night robes. Irritation was etched onto her tired face.

"Really, Remus, what is so important that you barge-" Poppy's jaw shut with a click, halting her own rant as she stared with horror at the bloody body in his arms. "Lay him down, quickly!" she commanded, her expression hardening when she caught sight of the unruly mop of hair, one of Harry's distinguishing features. Remus gently lowered his mate down onto the hospital bed, amber eyes filled with concern. Slowly and carefully, he unwound the ratty blanket from his body. He stared at the full extent of his precious mate's injuries with horror and rage, ignoring Poppy's gasp from behind him. _That muggle is going to wish he had never laid a finger on my mate when I'm through with him! _Remus growled internally, already itching to race back to Privet Drive and destroy that blasted muggle. Harry needed him now, though. He couldn't leave him when he was in such a state; Remus knew how confused and frightened he'd be when he awoke. He needed to be here to make sure his mate survived. Revenge would just have to wait.

"Heal him, please," Remus ground out as he shut his eyes and stepped back, feeling Harry's life start to slip away again. Harry's precious life. The golden light had ignited inside Remus when Harry reached of age, warming his soul, a direct link to Harry. It ebbed and flowed as Harry's state changed. He had felt the fear, the pain, and he had felt the light nearly diminish as Harry's body stopped fighting to survive. Panic colored his tone and Poppy didn't question it. She just stepped forward and began her diagnosis spell. A soft blue light enveloped Harry's body for only a moment before it faded. A scroll then appeared with a _pop_ in front of Poppy. Remus could tell it would be extensive without even glancing at it; his amber eyes were locked on his mate instead, trying to burn the image of him into his brain. A soft whine escaped his throat at the sight of his mate so broken, so destroyed and beaten. The wolf was pulled to the front, now, and Remus accepted the change. He'd be unable to push him back down if he wanted to; until their mate was safe, Moony would be front and center.

"Make yourself useful and floo for Severus - tell him to bring his newest batch of healing potions, we haven't restocked yet," Pomfrey spoke in a stern tone and Remus tore his eyes away from his mate. Giving an unsteady nod, he walked at a swift pace towards her office. He'd rather be by Harry's side, but if getting the dungeon bat would help him, Remus could spare a few moments apart. Striding over to the fireplace, he grabbed a handful of sparkling green powder from the bowl on the mantel place, tossing it into the already roaring fire. The flames changed to a bright emerald and Remus got to his knees, sticking his head in the fire.

"Severus Snape's Quarters!" The room seemed to spin a moment, and the next thing he knew he was looking out into a quaint little room, decorated in neutral tones of brown or beige. There was a man, dressed only in a heavy black robe, lying on the coach facing the fireplace. With long, greasy black hair and pale, sallow skin, Severus Snape was asleep on the couch with a heavy tome lying open on his chest.

Remus wasted no time, not bothering to wake the slimy git up gently.

"Severus, up! It's an emergency!" The man in question shot up, catching his book before it could hit the ground. Every muscle in his body was tense, ready to spring into action. Glancing towards the fireplace, onyx eyes narrowed and Severus's lips curled into a sneer.

"And what seems to be so important that you think you can interrupt my sleep, wolf?" Severus snarled out, but the usual nasty effect of his glare was useless. No one could look scary in sleep rumpled robes, mussed hair, and smelling slightly as if they had had sex in the last twenty-four hours and decided a cleaning charm would be sufficient enough. It was slightly revolting, though insignificant.

"The fact that one of your students is currently dying in the hospital wing due to the abuse of his very own relatives!" Remus growled, raising his voice slightly and amber eyes flashing dangerously. This caught Severus's attention. He stood up gracefully, grabbed a heavy black bag from the table and headed toward the fireplace to use the floo network.

"Out of the way, Lupin."

* * *

><p>When Remus returned to the infirmary with Snape trailing behind him, it was to the sight of Albus Dumbledore sitting in one of the plastic chairs on his mate's bedside, white beard glinting in the moonlight, and the nurse shooting multiple spells at the child. Severus froze mid-stride, looking slightly sick as he spotted exactly who the patient happened to be.<p>

"Potter… No, it can't be _perfect_ Potter… He's supposed to be spoiled rotten… How could I not see it?" the man mumbled under his breath, resuming his walk to Madame Pomfrey's side. Remus moved to sit next to Dumbledore, who silently handed him a list of injuries, twinkle gone from his blue eyes. Part of Remus wanted to be angry at the man for leaving Harry in the care of those horrid people, but he couldn't blame him. Dumbledore tried to do what was right, and truly cared for Harry, and that's what mattered now. The only people at fault were Voldemort and those horrid relatives. Closing his eyes for a moment, Remus took a deep breath to calm himself down before reading the page. He needed to think clearly.

'_Internal:_

_Bleeding, Extreme_

_Cracked Ribs, Two_

_Left Lung, Pierced_

_Collarbone, Broken_

_Anal Tearing, Extreme_

_Jaw, Broken_

_Left Ankle, Broken_

_Wrists, Broken_

_Tailbone, Broken_

_Right Arm, Broken_

_Concussion, Extreme_

_External:_

_Bruising, Extreme_

_Lacerations, Extreme_

_Burns, Mild_

_Sexual:_

_Rape With Foreign Object_

_Chance of Living:_

_Immediate Care: 39%_

_Put Off Care (One or Two Days): 26%_

_Withheld Care (Weeks): 13%_

_No Care: 1%'_

Remus gritted his teeth, clenching the chair arm with one hand while passing Severus the parchment. He didn't read where it went on to say the exact extent of the injuries. His mate didn't even have half a chance of living. His mate might die. And Remus had no doubt in his mind that if Harry died, he would die right along with him. For once a werewolf met its mate, it couldn't live without them. If Harry died, Remus wouldn't care enough to fight off his own death. He needed Harry now, needed him with every fiber of his being. Harry had to survive.

Remus barely noticed the events around him. Not when Severus's eyes went wide with disbelief, nor when he stood and began forcing potions down his mate's throat. Not poppy's frantic spell casting toward Harry. Not the silver drops of emotion sliding down Albus's cheek. No, he was locked in his mind, the wolf howling a forlorn song. In his head, Harry was as good as dead. The golden light was fading slower, but it was weak now, giving him no reassurance. Remus's body locked up, sweat started at his brow, and his breath slowly halting. No, he wouldn't survive this experience. He didn't _want_ to survive this experience. Life would be bleak and worthless without Harry, his precious mate.

So involved in his demise, Remus didn't notice Poppy's relieved smile, Severus's triumphant smirk, or Albus's twinkle return. He barely heard Severus's next comment.

"Breathe, wolf. The Golden Boy will live."

The world started turning again, faster than before. Remus jumped up, his chair falling with a clatter behind him. He dimly heard Poppy chastise him, but he was already on his knees, as close as he could get to his mate. No one else existed except for them - him and his mate. The world faded around them and all he could hear was his own heart beating. His head bent down to nuzzle the creamy white neck, feeling soft hair brushing against him. Harry's recovering pulse beat again his lips. Remus inhaled slowly, cherishing the scent that was purely Harry. Hiding behind hospital perfumes, he smelt of freshly cut grass and summer. He whined softly again, closing his eyes and trying to soak in the feel of his Harry. His mate was _alive. _Against all odds, Harry had survived, again. He never had to worry about Harry being hurt like that again, because now Remus would be there to protect him. Always.

A hand tapped his shoulder and he pulled back in annoyance, about to snap at whoever _dared _try to separate him from his Harry, but something stopped him. Remus had moved just in time to catch the brilliance of emerald orbs as eyelids moved away, a sleepy haze clouding them. Someone placed glasses on his nose, and Harry Potter blinked slowly in recognition.

"Harry, my boy, before you ask any quest-" Albus was cut off by two things. A death glare from an angry werewolf, not wanting to startle his mate, and a skittish boy who scrambled to the corner of the bed, sheets tangling around him. His eyes were wide with fright and he didn't seem to recognize the situation, only focused on getting as far away as possible. Harry's breathing immediately sped up as he frantically tried to assess the situation.

"Please, don't send me back! I don't want to go back to the Dursleys, don't make me, please!" Harry would have continued to beg if Remus hadn't cut in, unable to see him so distraught.

"Harry, you shall never go back to that awful home again. I have your things, and you'll be coming to Grimmauld place with the rest of the Order and me as soon as I finish speaking to Dumbledore. No one's going to hurt you again," Remus spoke with a ring of finality, rising slowly. He didn't want to leave Harry even for a second, but he and Albus needed to have a conversation before anything else could happen. Harry was going to stay with him no matter what, and he had to ensure that. Flashing Harry what he hoped to be a reassuring grin, he stepped into Pomfrey's office with Albus following close behind. The door closed and Remus pivoted to face Albus.

"Harry is my mate."

* * *

><p>Everything was blurry and darkness was covering him, a blanket of comfort. The pain in his body was slowly but steadily dimming and he knew soon he would have to awaken. But he didn't want to. He was safe here, in his darkness. It was warm and comfortable. There were no harsh words, no expectations, no troubles. Just serenity.<p>

The darkness pressed down harder, becoming uncomfortable, almost smothering, as if the blanket was being pushed down on him. No, he didn't want to be smothered; he didn't want to hurt anymore. He just wanted it all to stop. Harry needed to get out. He needed to breathe. So he began to push the darkness away, struggling against its confines. Why was his darkness doing this? Anything was better than this feeling, being trapped.

A clatter, a woman's chastising voice. That was the first thing he heard. Soon he felt someone's face buried in his neck, warm puffs of breath spreading goose bumps across his skin. It was comfortable, though. Why wasn't he pulling away? Why didn't he want to? Why did he feel so safe with this mystery man pressing his face against his neck? For it was definitely a man. The stubble on his cheek was slightly scratchy, and the features being pressed against him were definitely more male than female. Harry heard a faint whine and almost frowned, except his face felt heavy, everything was hard to move. He didn't want the man to be sad; he wanted to make him happy, for some reason. Maybe it was the warmth or the contact, but he felt safe here.

Then, the warmth was yanked away from him, and he felt alone. So alone. He needed his warmth, his rock, his safety. He pushed even more at the darkness. He needed to get out of it, needed the warmth, the person. Something told him if the darkness left, he could find his safety again. Harry felt the darkness begin to melt away, and fought harder to consciousness.

Harry opened his eyes, trying to get used to the sudden light and find the man. Cold metal was placed on his nose; his glasses, he realized. Harry's eyes locked on the person in front of him, his father's best friend, the person that safe feeling practically exuded from. Amber eyes filled with worry, concern, and… Was that… Love? No, impossible. Nobody could love him. He was too freakish. No one would ever love him. Vaguely he remembered what had happened, his uncle coming into his room on his birthday. Harry felt fear fill him; no one could ever love him again if they knew what had happened, how dirty and worthless he was.

Someone was speaking, and he dimly recognized the voice as his aging headmaster's. _He's going to send me back! I don't want to go back there! No, no, no, no, no!_

Harry scrambled back, feet getting tangled in the sheets. He had to get away from the headmaster, quickly, before he was forced back. Pulling away from Remus was hard, but he couldn't go back to that place, not ever again.

"Please, don't send me back! I don't want to go back to the Dursley's, don't make me, please!" He knew he sounded pathetic, but he had to try. Remus cut him off in a calming but stern tone, leaving no room for argument. A professor to the core.

"Harry, you shall never go back to that awful home again. I have your things, and you'll be coming to Grimmauld place with the rest of the Order and me as soon as I finish speaking to Dumbledore. No one's going to hurt you again." Grimmauld Place? The Order? Sirius? His friends? A hopeful feeling started building in his chest, and it didn't leave as Remus walked away, Dumbledore following him. As soon as the door swung shut behind him, though, Harry felt a pang of sadness, of longing, and of hopelessness. He felt unwanted again, unloved. Pain settled in his stomach and he felt tears surface to his eyes. Why was he about to start crying? Why was he acting like such a wimp? Harry slumped down, not caring when someone left the infirmary, but he did notice when the other someone sat on the edge of his bed. Flinching back, Harry's eyes darted up to stare at Madame Pomfrey, and a humiliated blush flooded his cheeks. Why was he flinching back from the matron? Shaking his head to clear it ever-so slightly, he smiled sheepishly at her; she had never hurt him before and was always kind, she didn't deserve his fear. The lonely feeling intensified still, though, and he found it hard to smile at her.

"Sorry…" Harry mumbled, ducking his head slightly.

"Oh, Harry! There's nothing to apologize about." Clearing her throat, Madame Pomfrey flushed slightly at being so unprofessional with her most frequent patient. "Now, Mr. Potter, at Grimmauld Place I _will _inform Molly of the strict diet I am putting you on. We'll start out light, but you _must_ eat _everything_ on your plate. Every night before you go to bed I want you to rub this salve on your bruises, and if you can't reach them, ask Remus and I'm sure he'll be more than happy to help." Here she handed him the salve, giggling slightly before sobering again. "With every meal you'll be drinking a nutrient potion, and every morning you'll be drinking a potion for any pain or stiffness you may have acquired, which I guarantee there will be some. I just repaired half the bones in your body in about two hours, so it's a surprise that you woke up right away. You're lucky to be alive." Harry nodded slowly, not feeling so lucky at the moment.

_Lucky to be alive. _He couldn't believe he _was _alive. Harry had expected his Uncle to kill him, there was no way he'd leave him alive, not after everything that had happened. How'd he survive? He _shouldn't_ have survived. Memories were coming back in flashes, sending strikes of pain through him. That was the worst thrashing he'd ever received and he hadn't been expecting… something like _that_ to happen. Probably just another freaky miracle; that always happened to him. He'd never just be _normal._

"Um, Madame Pomfrey? Who found me? And, uh, do you know what time it is?" Harry stumbled over the words, due to the pain and loneliness settling in his stomach. The matron nodded in that pleasant way of hers, smiling at him sympathetically.

"Of course. Mr. Lupin found you at around midnight and port-keyed you here. It's 2:20 now." The women seemed to freeze for a moment before smiling at Harry. "Happy seventeenth birthday, Mr. Potter." Harry winced at the phrase, brutally reminded of his uncle. As if sensing his pain, Remus took that moment to sweep into the room and kneel by the bed to see if everything was relatively all right, eyes flitting over his body, as if new injuries would appear any moment. The pain left from his stomach and the sense of loneliness disappeared, safety settling over him again. He sighed in relief, glad to feel the warmth again.

"Are you all right, belov-Harry?" Harry didn't notice the slip-up, but Albus certainly did, who shot a warning glance at Remus's head.

Harry nodded shyly, blushing. His earlier fright suddenly felt silly. No one here was going to hurt him. He trusted these people, as much as he could trust people. Remus smiled in relief, standing again, but not leaving his side, which Harry was grateful for. Remus made him feel safe, somehow. Something he hadn't felt in a long while.

"I already sent your things through the floo, Harry, so we're ready to go. Everyone's going to be asleep when we get there - they weren't expecting you till later today. You can sleep in as long as you want, though. Goodness knows you'll need it." Harry nodded his consent and began to rise from the bed, only to realize he was still naked beneath the sheets. He blushed a fierce crimson, and Poppy immediately spelled some old clothes on him, leaving him shoeless, though. Harry was so caught up in his mortification that he didn't catch Remus's hungry stare that seemed to have never left his body, or Remus's soft whine of disappointment when he was covered up. The wolf was still prominent in his mind, and probably would be till he was positive his mate was safe. Seeing that much skin was tempting, even with Harry being injured.

Still blushing, Harry stood hesitantly beside Remus with his head bowed, green eyes finding the floor very interesting at the moment. Sighing was heard above him, and Harry couldn't help the wince. Remus was disappointed in him, disappointed that we was so weak, so scarred, so ugly…

A hand on the small of his back made him jump, but he was led toward Madame Pomfrey's office. Stepping inside in front of Remus, he was careful to keep his gaze locked to the ground. He didn't want to invade Pomfrey's personal privacy. He couldn't help but watch from under his lashes, though, as Remus tossed glittering green powder in the fireplace.

"In you go, Harry," Remus spoke in a gentle tone, as if talking to a rabbit that might startle any moment. Harry gulped inaudibly and stepped into the flames, shouting out as steadily as he could while standing in fire. He didn't have a very good history with floo travel and it still made him nervous.

"Number 12 Grimmauld Place!" The room spun around him, and the next thing he knew he was spit out onto the dingy floor of Number 12. Coughing and sputtering, Harry crawled out of the fireplaces shooting range and proceeded to cough steadily. He had forgotten to close his mouth right away and had inhaled a great deal of ash. The fireplace roared again and Remus stumbled out, somehow managing to stay upright. How people did that, Harry would never know. At the sound of Harry's wracking coughs, he hurried over to him, crouching down next to him and staring in overwhelming concern. Rubbing his back, Remus soothed the coughs and stayed there till they died away.

"Are you okay, Harry?" Remus questioned, and Harry nodded slightly, swaying toward Remus as if he wanted to curl up in his arms, but stopping himself. Remus stood and offered a hand to Harry, which he gratefully took, in order to rise unsteadily to his feet. Everything was still sore. Noticing his suitcase and owl cage next to the fireplace, he hobbled over to grab them both before turning to Remus expectantly. Remus smiled softly at the sight, and put a finger to his lips as a sign for Harry to stay quiet, before motioning for him to head up the stairs As Harry passed, Remus carefully took the suitcase from his hand, the look in his eyes saying it was nonnegotiable. Harry followed without protest, stumbling over a few times and trying not to look at the gloomy setting or decapitated house elves. Upon reaching the landing, Remus opened one of the doors and poked his head in. Loud snores were heard from there and Remus wrinkled his nose, but opened the door wider for Harry.

"I don't know how you've managed to sleep with that racket, Harry, but here's your room with Ron. I'm right across the hall if you need me," Remus whispered, pointing to the door literally _right _across the hall, before placing Harry's suitcase inside the doorway and stepping aside to let him into his room. Harry entered slowly, heading for the bed closest to the door, rolling his eyes at Ron's snores yet smiling fondly. Some things never changed. He knew as soon as the door was closed, not by the sound, but by the pain that rushed through the pit of his stomach. He felt alone, small, fragile, weak… and unsafe. He wanted his Remus back.

Shaking off his childish notions, Harry dropped his trunk at the end of his bed and collapsed on the bed, fully clothed, falling asleep instantly.

* * *

><p>Harry awoke with a start, breathing heavily. The first thing he noticed was that it was still dark. Ron was still asleep, snoring away, and he didn't hear any activity going on within the house. Glancing at the clock, he winced when he noticed it was only four in the morning. He'd only managed to sleep for not even two hours. But the loneliness… it was killing him. He clutched his stomach, as if it would stop the pain, but it was overwhelming. And Harry knew only one cure at the moment.<p>

But he couldn't go wake him up! Who would want to be woken up in the middle of the night by a freak like himself? No, he'd wait till morning. _Just wait it out._

Harry's resolve lasted less than a minute. He was out of bed in a flash, the pain having spread to his heart to give him a feeling of intense vulnerability. _Screw it! _He thought as he threw caution to the wind and opened the door to his room. Glancing down either side of the hall and seeing no one, he stepped hesitantly across the hall, gulping at the sight of Remus's room. He couldn't think of him as a godfather anymore - no, it just didn't feel right. Sighing in defeat, he gripped the cold metal doorknob and pulled the door open.

Remus's room was done in tones of dark greens with brown accents, smelling like Remus always did; the smell of a forest after a soft rain. There was a large canopy bed in the center, where Remus was tangled in dark green sheets, mumbling under his breath. Harry smiled at the picture. _He looks adorable, _he thought, but quickly scowled to himself. Remus probably wouldn't appreciate that thought.

Still, he looked peaceful somehow. Feeling bad about waking him up, despite the fact that the pain almost completely left him when he entered the room, Harry turned to exit, not noticing when Remus's brown eyes, swirling with amber, opened.

"Harry? Wait, don't go. What's wrong?" Remus's quiet voice came from behind him, and he spun around to see Remus sitting up in bed, dirty blond hair sticking up, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He was still dressed in the clothes he had worn a few hours ago, like Harry. Harry closed the door behind him, heading slowly towards the bed, guilt consuming him.

"I-I'm sorry, Moony… I couldn't sleep and-" Harry cut himself off, not wanting to have Remus pity him. He didn't deserve pity or concern. Remus shot Harry a knowing look and patted the bed next to him. Harry smiled in relief and clambered up, where Remus immediately wrapped an arm around Harry. He froze for a second, but something in Harry wouldn't let him hesitate for long. Remus wouldn't hurt him like his Uncle did. Remus wasn't like that - he trusted him. Harry relaxed, curling up against Remus's side and taking in his scent. The pain was completely gone now and warmth wrapped itself around Harry heart. He felt safe and protected here. Already feeling drowsy, he was shocked awake by Remus speaking again and beginning to pull fingers through Harry's unruly hair.

"And?" he prompted. Harry couldn't hesitate in his answer; he had to tell Remus the truth.

"It hurts, it hurts so much to be away from you… I feel so lonely, so vulnerable… Why? Why do I feel so much pain and weakness when away from you? How did you find me? How did you know?" Remus's hands froze in Harry's hair and he let a gust of breath escape him. He was silent for so long, Harry thought he had fallen asleep and started to drift off himself. That is, until Remus finally spoke.

"Harry…"

* * *

><p><strong>Delicious Soul has received 644 hits, 50 story alerts (THAT'S FREAKING AMAZING!), 28 favorites (ALSO AMAZING), and 12 Reviews (EPIC). That's really, really, really flattering, guys. I didn't expect anyone to like this story, and I'm glad you did!<strong>

**Questions you might have:**

**Q: Why is Harry acting so fragile, girly, weak, etc?  
>A: Because he's been through a tragic ordeal, and that's part of being a werewolf's submissive mate. Until they mate, Harry will be a little more meek, especially to Remus. <strong>

**Q: Why is Remus acting so strange?  
>A: That will change soon - His wolf is still at the front of his mind, and probably will stay there until Harry starts gaining weight and enters the safe zone. For the wolf, Harry is still in risk of dying at any moment.<strong>

**Words in just the Story: 4,820 A little longer, right?  
>Words including AN's: 4,977**

**Review, please!**

_Thank you to all who read this! I didn't add as much, but this chapter is now completely edited ^-^_


	3. Explanations

**Title: Delicious Soul**

**Side-Pairings:** Ron/Hermione, Neville/Draco, Severus/Lucius, Past-Sirius/Remus, Sirius/Fred/George, Seamus/Dean

**Warnings:** Slash, Abusive!Dursleys, Threesome, AU, OOC, M-Preg. (Abuse includes verbal, mental, physical, and object penetration. You have been warned.)

**Rating:** M for extreme explicit abuse and future sexual implications.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own. All belongs to J.K. Rowling. Some minor plot points may have been used in another story - I do not mean to steal anything. It is done subconsciously, and only when I read through it did I notice some things seemed slightly familiar.

**Archives:** Fanfiction

Chapter Uploaded: 6/19/11

Chapter Edited: 3/25/14

_A/N: Edited and added on to as well. The poll at the bottom is now closed; I have come to my decision, which will come apparent later on. Thank you all who helped!_

* * *

><p><em>He was silent for so long, Harry thought he had fallen asleep and started to drift off himself. That is, until Remus finally spoke.<em>

"_Harry…"_

**Chapter Three: Explanations**

**Chapter Warnings: Slash, Mentions of past abuse, Talk of M-Preg, OOC!Harry and Remus.**

"Harry… Remember that paper Professor Snape made you do on werewolves? In your third year?" Remus spoke softly, searching frantically in his head for a way to tell Harry the truth. The boy in question blinked in shock at the answer, but nodded nonetheless. Remus took a deep breath, as if to steady himself, before speaking in a rush, words tumbling together. _"You'remymate." _Harry scrunched his nose slightly in confusion, causing his glasses to slide down his nose, which he pushed back up with a free hand.

"What?" he spoke in a confused tone and Remus sighed, leaning down to bury his face into Harry's black mop of hair, inhaling his scent. Harry leaned closer, closing his eyes in content. Part of him was wondering why he was doing this – surely it wasn't _right, _was it? But something that feels this good… It had to be right. Tilting his head to the side so his voice wouldn't be muffled by his mate's hair, Remus prepared to speak again. He had to tell Harry somehow, and it would be better to get it out of the way sooner. All Remus could do was pray to be accepted by his little mate.

"Every werewolf has a destined mate. Werewolves are considered to reach their maturity at the same age wizards do, seventeen. Along with our magical inheritance, we also go through a form of… Werewolf puberty, you could say. Werewolves go through puberty at the normal age for most teenage boys, but the wolf doesn't fully mature until they reach their seventeenth birthday. There, the wolf gains a few inches, and develops a… sexual allure. It's used to attract our mate, and we tend to show a few more wolf tendencies during this time. Werewolves cannot sense their mate until the mate reaches their magical maturity at age seventeen. We're in this state of 'puberty' for three years, until our twentieth birthday. On that day, the wolf starts to lose hope, thinking their mate is either dead or that we're going to die before our mate turns seventeen. The werewolf in question then loses that sexual allure, and proceeds to slowly slink into depression. If they have not found their fated mate by age forty, the wolf's depression is so great it kills itself the next full moon." His voice was heavy as he spoke, struggling to get the words out. He needed to go about this carefully; Harry had to accept him. Emerald eyes stared up at him, captivating him, making it difficult to speak. A spark of unconscious knowledge appeared in those eyes during his spiel, and he had been nuzzling his chest throughout it. Moony howled at the contact, taking it as acceptance, wanting to claim him, mate with him, give him pups…

"But that means you'll die in three years!" Harry's voice snapped him out of his mating haze, and Remus smiled sadly at Harry's childlike ignorance. Sighing, he reached a hand up the brush against his beloved's cheek, Harry leaning into the caress, his eyes closing and a small smile gracing his face. Warmth settled around Remus's heart as he gazed down at Harry, still in awe. He had been searching for his mate for twenty years, and now that he found him, Remus would never let him go.

"Harry… I found my mate. Last night at midnight, I felt my mate, that spark of… rightness I had been waiting for, for twenty years I had waited for it. Tell me, Harry, not about the pain you feel when I'm away, but about how you feel now, with me." Remus watched as blood pooled to the surface under Harry's cheeks, lighting them scarlet, the blush traveling down his neck and disappearing beneath the collar of his shirt. _I wonder how far that blush goes…_ He mused, watching as Harry stumbled to answer. As Harry started to speak, Remus quickly scolded himself. _Now, of all times, is not the time to think about mating!_

"Safe. Content. Right. Lov-" But his Harry cut himself off, shaking his head as if to dislodge the notion. But Remus caught it and growled under his breath, cursing the Dursleys for making his precious mate afraid of his love. He'd make sure Harry never doubted his love again soon, but it was a matter he must ease into. Remus watched as Harry's eyes went wide with fear and excruciating pain, as he attempted to scramble back from Remus's embrace at the growl. _Fuck. _Remus mentally kicked himself; he'd have to learn to control his anger a little better. Tightening his grip on the teen, he inhaled Harry's scent to calm himself, struggling to regain control. Harry struggled against him, mumbling apologies under his breath. _As if _my _perfect mate could do anything wrong! _Over time, Remus would work with him on his self-confidence, but for now he just had to comfort him. Thoughts of murdering those insolent muggles danced through his head. _Soon, _he promised himself.

"I apologize, Harry. I'm not angry with _you_. How could I be? You're… perfect. Kind, powerful, beautiful, intelligent, strong… No, I could never be angry with you. I'm angry with your damn _relatives_. You did nothing wrong, Love." Harry blinked owlishly at the endearment, obviously shocked at Remus's words. Relaxing, he buried his face in Remus chest again, gripping the cloth there as if it was a lifeline. He was so cute, curled up to Remus' chest…

"Continue." His timid voice brought Remus out of his daze, again. Smiling, Remus nodded.

"Of course. Those feelings you have just confirm it, Harry. Last night, when I felt my mate come into their inheritance, that feeling of contentment only lasted a moment. That pain you feel when you're separated from me… It was worse than that. As bad as my monthly transformations. But… the anger was the worst. Overwhelming and excruciating. I followed the feelings, letting them lead me to my mate, only to find him being brutally abused by his own uncle. Harry… you're my mate." Remus spoke softly, fear pounding in his chest, a fear of rejection. Harry inhaled sharply, moving his head so he was gazing up at Remus. His expressive eyes showed shock, realization, uncertainty, and… acceptance? He hesitated for a moment.

"Are you sure?" A chuckle escaped his lips as he nodded, a hand moving up to comb through Harry's hair. He leaned into the touch, a small sound coming from his throat, as if he were purring. Remus smiled in amusement and filed that interesting piece of information away for later. Harry hadn't rejected him yet – maybe all was not lost.

"Of course I'm sure - nothing could fake these feelings."

"C-can you tell me more? About what being your mate means?" He couldn't fight the grin that burst across his face. He was rather surprised Harry was taking this so well, he had expected running and screaming. But his mate was _accepting him!_

"I can't tell you what being a mate is _like_, but I _can_ tell you the basics of what it _means_." Still grinning, Remus decided to start at the _basic_ basics, for Harry's sake. "For mates, there's always a dominant and a submissive. Usually, the older one or the werewolf is the dominant, but there are always a few exceptions. 'Dominate' and 'Submissive' are just saying who's more likely to top in the sexual aspect of the relationship, not where someone dominates another person, unless, of course, the couple likes that. Outside of sexual implications, the pair is essentially equals. The submissive even holds most of the power; dominants will do anything to ensure their happiness. Like, in our relationship, I would be the one to most likely top in a sexual setting, but we are still be equals and your happiness is my first priority." Harry looked queasy for a moment on the subject, tensing at the terms before relaxing into him again. After what he'd just been through, Remus didn't expect him to be comfortable with talk of sex any time soon and quickly moved on.

"When a werewolf first senses its mate in regular circumstances, where the mate is perfectly fine, the werewolf would follow the pull to their home to see who their mate is, just to observe them for a little while, before returning home. They would then commence to owl the mate and try to 'woo' them. In circumstances like ours, where the mate is extremely hurt or in danger, the werewolf would rescue their mate and skip the wooing faze, mostly because, after a traumatic experience, the mate yearns for their werewolf at all times and vice versa. The werewolf will always keep their mate safe, and this need kicks into overdrive if something happens to said mate. The feelings of safety you have are common - those pained feelings only happen because the part of you that _knows_ it's my mate, that was _born_ to be my mate, has begun to rely on me intensely. As long as I am in the same room as you, you should be fine, and those painful, vulnerable feelings will fade with time as you heal. Though it has been a week from the full moon, the scare of feeling my mate in pain caused my wolf to come forward, but I'll be back to normal after the next full moon. Any questions?" Remus slipped into what Sirius called his 'Professor-Mode' somewhere during his lecture, smiling warmly at Harry. Harry smiled slightly, biting his lip in an unconscious gesture. Remus wanted to reach down and pull his lip from his teeth, but restrained himself in time.

"Remus, what exactly _is _a mate? I mean, you mentioned that I was 'born' to be your mate - what did you mean by that?" Blinking, Remus blushed slightly at the reminder of his words. "I didn't mean it like that was your only purpose of being born. No, a mate is someone who was born the exact other half of a werewolf, a part of their soul that will always be missing until they bond with their mate. They fit together perfectly, two halves of a whole. Everyone has a perfect match, a soul mate. Werewolves just have a way that, upon their mate's seventeenth birthday, it destroys all inhibitions and shines a light on their mate." Remus watched as his little mate's eyes opened again, staring at Remus with wonder in his eyes, as if he didn't believe someone could love another that truly. Soul mates were rare to find, and such a perfect pairing was coveted by many.

"For a werewolf and their newly found mate, it's a rather precarious journey to being fully mated and bonded for most people. If the couple already loved each other in a romantic way before the werewolf or intended reaches maturity, then they could complete the bond that night. Other werewolves and their mates, though, have limitations, exceptions, and duties… Well, one duty, really. Werewolves and their mates have to… consummate their bond a year from when the mate comes into inheritance." Remus winced as he dropped the largest bomb, Harry tensing in his arms. This just wasn't information he could omit, though. When Harry began trying to wiggle away, Remus reluctantly loosened his hold to allow him to move, but only slightly. He didn't want Harry accidentally hurting himself. Harry's eyes were wide with panic and pain, his breath increasing as he neared hyperventilation.

"No… Please, no…. Too much pain, no, no, no, no…" Harry's voice trembled and his eye's seemed to fade away, back to the room with too many locks and a cat flap, back to his obese uncle… Remus rubbed his arms carefully, exuding comfort and trying to calm his frantic mate. His amber eyes were wide with shock; he had no idea Harry would react this badly. And frankly, it frightened him to the core. Harry seemed to be going into a panic attack, and Remus had no idea how he could help him. He felt completely helpless.

"Harry, please come back to me, Beloved. It's me, Remus. Calm down, please, my precious mate… I know it's too soon, we have a year, and I'll never force you. You have time, dearest, please come back to me!" Remus' voice took on a panicked edge at his last sentence, staring into his love's eyes, hoping to see something. A spark of recognition seemed to ignite a flame of relief. Remus let loose a shaky breath, trying to calm his wildly beating heart. Harry was hurting and he didn't know how to help him get better, and that was terrifying. It was his job to keep Harry safe and happy, and already he was failing.

"I-I have time? You'll wait for me? You'll still want me then?" Remus gasped at his little mate's insecurities, before yanking the younger man back into his chest, arms shaking as they held him. Pressing his lips against his head, he inhaled the scent that was uniquely Harry before mumbling soft reassurance to him, one hand rubbing calming circles on his back.

"You have a full year, Harry. A year to get used to us, a year to start to heal. I'd wait for you forever, and I'll always want you. You're precious, my little mate." Harry let out a shaky breath, before his arm wound around Remus's waist, pulling him securely against his Remus's chest. His fingers clutched the back of Remus's sweater, as if to keep him from ever leaving.

"T-thank you!" Remus watched as his mate fought back tears, saddened at the sight. Sooner or later he would break down, and he would rather it be sooner than later. The longer he held it in, the longer it would take to begin to heal from such a terrible ordeal. Keeping it in would tear at his insides and just cause him more pain in the end. Remus wouldn't try and force it out of him now, though; his mate was too exhausted to handle so much emotion at the moment.

"We have about three hours till breakfast… You should get some rest." Harry compliantly closed his eyes, resting against Remus's chest and relaxing his body. Remus bit his lip to keep from laughing, watching the man in amusement as he tried to force his form into a relaxed state, only to open his eyes in frustration a moment later. Harry sighed before wiggling out of Remus' arms, not noticing when Remus growled inaudibly at the action. He didn't like his mate leaving his side; it was still too early for that. The dark-haired boy had managed to drag himself into a propped up position, leaning back against the pillows and peering down at Remus.

"I can't sleep." Remus' mouth quirked at the sentence and nodded slowly.

"So I've noticed. How about I give you an early present?" Harry's eyes brightened considerably, but his nod was timid. Smiling at his shy mate in what he hoped to be a reassuring manner, Remus glided off the bed and over to an old-looking chest placed at the foot of the bed. It seemed to be collecting dust, but was still probably one of the nicest things Harry had ever seen Remus own. The wood was a dark, rich shade and the chest itself was ornately carved with small flowers. Remus opened the grandeur chest, smirking up at Harry's curious expression. As he rifled through the various knickknacks, a blush staining his face at the thought of how frantic he had been during his three years after his inheritance. He had filled the whole chest with gifts for his mate. Sorting through a stack or barely used books, he pulled out the two he was looking for with a triumphant grin.

"Ah ha! Here we are." Crawling up on the bed, he placed the two books on his mate's lap. Lying down next to him, Remus nuzzled his mate's chest once before falling asleep, only dimly hearing Harry's thanks.

* * *

><p>Harry watched in amusement as, even in sleep, Remus seemed unwilling to lose any contact with him, an arm tossed around his waist with one leg tangled with his. Glancing down at the titles, Harry inhaled sharply. <em>If he didn't know I was his mate till today, why does he have these? <em>The answer came to him quickly. _He had twenty years to wait for a mate - I guess the wolf just refused to give up. _

The thickest book had an extremely life-like picture of a grey wolf, _werewolf_, with a dark haired human man pinned beneath his paws. The man was facing him with happy eyes, and would sometimes run fingers through the fur of the wolf while it seemed to nuzzle his chest. Harry couldn't help but notice that the man was naked underneath the wolf, though completely covered by it. In silver, elegant writing it proclaimed along the top '_A Werewolf's Mate by Domingo Coday'_.

The second book was smaller in size, with just a picture of two men on the cover. The taller one had dark black hair with amber eyes and multiple scars, and was playing with a slight boy's hair with one hand while the other was wrapped around the boy's waist. The small boy looked fragile next to the werewolf, but was laughing at whatever was being said, one hand resting on his stomach in a content manner. _Is that how I will look next to Remus one day? _The thought surprisingly brought a smile to his face, and he noticed the title was written in a much more subtle script then the last book. '_Mated: An Autobiography of a Werewolf Mate's Life by Allan Dawes'. _

Harry decided to start on the larger of the two, which seemed to be more focused on exactly what being a werewolf mate entailed, while the second seemed more of a way to apply fact into the big picture. Flipping open the book, he started scanning through, marking pages that could prove to be useful. He'd read them in whole later; right now he just wanted more information on what he should expect. He was a werewolf's _mate._ It was so surreal for him.

'_Reproduction_

_From the start of a werewolf's relationship with its mate, the werewolf will crave to consummate the bond, having the constant urge to get the mate with 'pups', or children. Just like werewolves can mate with any gender, the submissive in their relationship, no matter the gender, can get pregnant. Though male pregnancy is a little rougher than female, it is completely natural and happens without the help of potions. If two werewolves end up mating, the child will most likely also be a werewolf, but only start transformations at age ten. When a werewolf and a person of another species (human, vampire, veela, etc.) mate, it is impossible for the child to contract lycanthropy. Children are cherished in a pack, and werewolves can scent when a werewolf's mate is pregnant two weeks after conception. A werewolf is physically unable to cause his mate or pups any harm, even during the full moon, and will protect both with their life. Werewolf mates and pups are also unable to contract the disease from the werewolf, but can contract it if bitten during the full moon by another werewolf. If they live in a pack, though, the scent of a mated person and pup will ensure other werewolves cannot hurt them. Werewolves in general are unlikely to cause mates with pups any harm, though, for pups are too special to waste. _

_Though werewolf pregnancies are the same as regular pregnancies, there is one difference. The mate, when carrying pups, will immediately go into a denning faze at the start of pregnancy that will last throughout the pregnancy. During this denning faze, the mate will have a small piece of the wolf in them due to the child they are carrying, causing them to take this characteristic from werewolves. They will begin stealing away fabrics, clothes, or things they find especially soft, and hide them away, creating a den in a place they view as safe. Every werewolf, when searching for their mate, will begin to gather soft fabrics they think their mate will enjoy for when their mate gets with pups. Then, at the start of the denning faze, they will gift the mate with these fabrics. The mate, however, will not show the werewolf where the den is kept until they can subconsciously feel their pregnancy getting very near. If the den is found by either the werewolf or another creature or human, the mate will immediately move the den to a different location. Mates will lock themselves into the den after showing the werewolf to prepare for birth. Years ago, the mate gave birth with just the help of their werewolf. In modern times, though, the werewolf will usually have someone with the professional skills to help close by. The mate will grow angry at the werewolf for giving away the location of their den for a short while, but will most likely forgive the werewolf a few days after the child is born as the children need the werewolf to survive and the werewolf cannot survive long separation from its mate and pups.'_

Harry couldn't keep a silly grin from spreading across his face at this page. Even if he didn't marry some nice girl, he could still have the big family he always wanted. Having children had always been a dream of his as he wanted to surround himself with love and family members. He never expected to be the one carrying the kids, though, but he'd accept it if it meant he could expand his family someday. Biting his lip and taking a glance at the sleeping werewolf wound about his waist, he marked the page along with all the other things he deemed important.

'_Mental Links_

_After consummation, there is a very small chance that the werewolf and mate will develop a type of link. There are three possible types, though all are highly unlikely._

_Emotional Link - The ability to detect the other's mood._

_Mind Link - The ability to share and see thoughts._

_Protection Link - The ability to tell when the other is in trouble, even if they're not in pain, and be able to follow a pull to find them. This pull can also lead you through most wards, except ones directly against Protection Links._

_There have been only two recorded cases where a pair had more than one type of link. Merlin was mated to a werewolf and they shared a Protection and Mind Link. The other was Godric Gryffindor, who was the mate of a werewolf, and shared an Emotional and Mind Link. It is extremely difficult to get a Mental Link in the first place - having two was deemed impossible after the Founders of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry passed away. The power scales quickly lowered after that era, and not even some of the greatest wizards today (ex. Albus Dumbledore) would have enough power to form a link._

_Not only do you have to be powerful, but also the mate has to love their werewolf (and vice versa) unselfishly. While this happens on occasion with other creatures, werewolves are notoriously selfish in everyday life, that, even if they love unselfishly, there is no chance.'_

There was a whole chapter that went into detail on Mental Links, but two things made Harry stop. One was the line about loving unselfishly. _What do they mean by 'unselfishly'? I'll have to ask my Remus later… _The second was the sound of a door opening and feet rushing down the stairs. Glancing over at the clock, he was shocked to notice that it was almost seven-thirty. A wave of exhaustion washed over him, not having gotten much sleep at all, but he shook it off.

Remus was still wrapped around him, his arms tightening and head rubbing his side at random moments. Harry felt like a giant teddy bear. Smiling gently as Remus's head found its way onto his chest, Harry reached down to run his fingers through the silky strands of tawny hair.

"It's breakfast time, Remus. Time to get up." Harry watched as Remus frowned, mumbling something under his breath before rolling over. Unfortunately, Harry was the only thing to roll onto. As his heavy weight settled over him, Harry felt the breath knocked out of him.

"R-Remus! Can't…. Breathe!" With a groan, Remus' amber eyes opened, blinking once. Then again.

"Oh, shit!" Instantly, the weight was gone and Harry could breathe again, only to be pulled up into a soft hug. Remus was chuckling softly in his ear, the breath tickling the side of his neck. "Sorry, Harry. Honestly, I didn't _intend_ on suffocating you. Now, how about some breakfast!" Remus was obviously a morning person. Stunned at the turnaround, Harry was suddenly across the room by the door before he remembered his questions.

"Oh, wait, Remus!" As Remus turned his gaze to Harry expectantly, Harry felt his mouth go dry for a moment and his cheeks grow warm. "C-can I ask you a few questions?"

"Of course, Harry. Never be afraid to just ask." Harry nodded to please him, still shaking with nerves.

"In that book you gave me, _A Werewolf's Mate, _it mentions something about Mental Links and how one requirement to obtain them is by unselfishly loving the other person. What do they mean by that?" Harry stumbled over the words, causing Remus' eyes to gleam softly in amusement and glee.

"I'm glad you actually read them, Harry! Those books came in a set. _A Werewolf's Mate_ came with _A Mated Werewolf_, which is information for the werewolf. The autobiography came with an autobiography from the other mate's point of view. So they're not the same word-for-word, but I think I know what you're talking about. Loving unselfishly is where you put the other's life and happiness before your own." Remus frowned for a moment, his tone becoming stern. "Which I never want you to do, Harry. If I'm in trouble, I can handle it myself. I don't want to see you hurt." Harry frowned at that. He was known for having a hero complex, and knew that if Remus were actually in trouble, he'd do anything to save him. Remus had already returned back to his normal level of cheerfulness quickly, though, so Harry pushed the matter aside. "It could be stuff as small as buying your mate a cat when you hate felines, or something as big as physically protecting them from a gang of Death Eaters. Either way, those are unselfish acts of love." Remus seemed to scan over his words for a moment, looking to see if he remembered everything. Harry waited before asking his next question, and started nervously twisting his hands.

"A-and should we tell them about us being… You know…" Harry couldn't stop the blush as Remus let out a quick bark of laughter. He just couldn't seem to bring himself to say the word; it hadn't really sunk in yet.

"Mates? I think we should tell them when the time is right. Not necessarily at breakfast - they'll be too tired to comprehend and I'll probably have your godfather castrating me for daring to even _think_ about touching his godson anytime in the future." Just as the blush had faded, it returned at full force, Harry letting out a nervous laugh.

"Yeah, that sounds like Siri." Remus chuckled and nodded, taking Harry by the hand and leading him down the stairs. This was the happiest Harry had ever seen Remus, who was still grinning, and it warmed him to the core. Seeing Remus so happy had a content smile spreading across his face.

They dropped hands just in time for two red heads to barrel pass them, followed quickly by a bloke with green and silver sparkly hair. A crash resounded from the kitchen, causing Remus and Harry to wince. They heard a quick bark of laughter and a shrill voice start to scream. _Just an average day with the Weasleys, _Harry thought with a smile.

"Fred, George, what did I say about pranking your brother! And today of all days! You two know Harry is going to be here soon!" Molly would have continued to rant if Harry hadn't stepped in the kitchen, hoping to save his friend's arses.

"Hello, Mrs. Weasley." He gave a quick nod to those around him, scanning the room for new faces. Shocked expressions stared back at him, and Harry had to hold back laughter as he identified the boy with Slytherin hair as Ron. But his gaze froze at two blond aristocrats, one raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him while the younger of the two looked just as astonished as the rest of the room. Instead of a shock of anger, like expected, Harry couldn't help but feel that frightened, vulnerable feeling again. Apparently Remus was waiting for this, for when he shrunk back Remus was there to put a hand on his shoulder, trying to stay as paternal as possible while comforting him. Harry wanted to turn and curl up in Remus's arms, but remembered what Remus had mentioned - they'd have to wait till after breakfast to tell anyone.

Suddenly everyone was talking at once, greeting him in astonishment. Molly gave him one of her bone-crushing hugs that Harry tried to flinch away from, not expecting the contact. His eyes widened in fear and he tried to control himself, not wanting to lash out at the motherly figure. Ron clapped him on the shoulder not being occupied by Remus's hand.

"What are you doing here, mate? You're not supposed to arrive till noon!" Ron may not have noticed Remus's growl at the term 'mate', but Harry did. Casting Remus a look to _behave_, he quickly answered Ron's question.

"Remus had to come pick me up early so no one was here when we arrived. I was too hyped up to sleep, so Remus let me borrow a book that I read in his room. What's Malfoy doing here, though?" Harry said with a tight smile, trying to hide the flash of fear he felt at the blonde's name. _What's going on? _He'd never actually feared Malfoy before, and he had no idea why he was suddenly terrified of the blonde. Then again, he was still scared of even his best friends at times. Raised voices and physical contact frightened him more than he'd like to admit, and loud and touchy described the Weasleys perfectly.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot you didn't know. Dumbledore brought them here at the beginning of the summer, saying it wasn't safe for them at Malfoy Manor anymore. Apparently, they've been super-secret spies for the light as long as Snape has. But they were ratted out by, well, a rat. Wormtail. Now they're in hiding here. He's not that bad, though. Doesn't make any comments about blood-traitors or anything. He even asked Neville out! Neville _Longbottom!_ Not that there's anything wrong with that, they just always hated each other." Hermione had reached them by now as well, leading him away from Remus, whom Harry threw a sad smile at, feeling a pang of longing as soon as he was out of touching distance. It wasn't unbearable, though, and he did want to talk with his friends, as he hadn't heard much from them all summer. Shock ran through him when he heard about Draco; the Malfoys seemed to be the epitome of Dark!

"We're sorry for not telling you more in our owls, Harry. But Dumbledore made us promise not to, they could have been intercepted. There have been a lot of changes, though." His book-loving friend hesitated for a moment. "We decided to wait till you got here to join to Order. It just felt… wrong to be doing something this important against Voldemort without you!" Molly took this moment to place a plate of food in front of everyone, berating Harry for being 'much too thin'. Harry had a noticeably less amount of food and two vials, which Harry wrinkled his nose at before swallowing them down quickly. Madame Pomfrey hadn't forgotten, apparently. At least the nutrient potion tasted half way decent. And he was starting to feel quite sore, making him almost eager to relieve the pain.

"What changes?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as Hermione blushed and let out a small giggle, that she would deny every happening at a later date. Sirius had come over and heard this last question, and let out a quick snicker. After being yanked into a quick hug, causing Harry to wince, Sirius was the one who answered.

"Just everyone hopping in each other's beds. Snivellus and Lucy over there have apparently been together for a while now, so is Neville and Mini Malfoy. I, on the other hand, managed to snag our two favorite deviously handsome pranksters. Your friends might have something to tell you as well." Harry blinked in shock at the list. And then burst out laughing. Sirius laughed with him. When the chuckles finally died down, Harry managed to start eating as Sirius started up again, winking at Ron and Hermione's flushed faces. "See? It must be mating season, or there's something in the water, I swear. Soon we're going to have little baby Snapes and Malfoys and Weasleys and Blacks storming through the house. Though, of course, my children will be the most amazingly awesome of them all," Sirius said with another laugh, pulling up a chair to sit next to them. Harry blushed slightly. Sirius had no idea how close he was to the truth about 'mating season'.

Breakfast passed quickly, though Remus had come stomping over near the end and demanded Harry finish his food, which he had grudgingly complied. Even though it was less than everyone else's, how did they expect him to eat this much? Dishes were cleared away, and the atmosphere in the room seemed to grow. Turning to look at his friend's, who were all grinning like fools, he tried everything to get them to tell him what was up. Finally, as a last resort, he turned to Remus and commenced to pout, pulling the puppy-dog eyes. Remus groaned in defeat while Harry smirked. He knew Remus wouldn't be able to say no to the puppy-dog eyes! Especially not now.

"Fine! Brace yourself, Harry!"

* * *

><p><strong>Delicious Soul is my most popular story. This story has <strong>**2,100 hits ****(BIG CHANGE!), ****79 alerts****, ****55 favorites, and 26 reviews.****  
>Thanks to everyone who favorited, alerted, reviewed, or even just clicked on this story! I love you guys so much!<strong>

**Words in just the story: 5,863 Words. Yes! It got longer!**

**Words: 5,990**


	4. Surprise!

**Title:** Delicious Soul

**Side-Pairings:** Ron/Hermione, Neville/Draco, Severus/Lucius, Past-Sirius/Remus, Sirius/Fred/George, Seamus/Dean

**Warnings:** Slash, Abusive!Dursleys, Threesome, AU, OOC, M-Preg. (Abuse includes verbal, mental, physical, and object penetration. You have been warned.)

**Rating:** M for extreme explicit abuse and future sexual implications

**Disclaimer:** I don't own. All belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Archives**: Fanfiction

Posted Date: 3/25/14

_**Important A/N:** Thank you so much for sticking around for this chapter! Hopefully I'll have more out soon as I have made a plan for this story and everything. There is expected to be around 24 chapters and an Epilogue. I have also decided Ginny's fate; the polls are closed, thanks to everyone who helped! I hope this story continues to live up to everyone's expectations. As of this chapter, I'll start privately replying to EVERY review I receive, and publically for those on anonymous. I would greatly appreciate it if you went back and reread this story if you're not new here; I have edited quite a few things, though the plot stays the same. Thanks again! Happy reading!_

* * *

><p><em>"Fine! Brace yourself, Harry!" <em>

**Chapter Four: Surprise!**

**Chapter Warnings: Slash, Language, Threesome, Creatures, Mentions of past abuse.**

Harry tilted his head in confusion while the other occupants of the room groaned in exasperation. _Brace myself? What does that mean? _Memories flashed through him of his uncle and his eyes started to widen in fear. He couldn't help it; despite his attempts to brush off his anxieties, fear haunted him, even in the most mundane of situations. These were his friends, though, they wouldn't hurt him… he hoped.

"Really, Moony, you just had to give it away! Now it won't be a surprise!" Sirius grumbled, crossing his arms and pouting. This caused Harry to chuckle slightly – Sirius was one thing that would never change. He was as immature as ever, which was now intensified a bit by his two younger, mischievous lovers. Remus just rolled his eyes in mock exasperation, a smile teasing around the corners of his mouth. He eyed Harry subtly, trying to mask his concern, but finding it difficult. This was planning to be a lot for Harry to handle, especially after his whirlwind of a day.

"Padfoot, it's not like I committed a crime or something. Besides! You know I can't resist the puppy-dog eyes!" Sirius's response was cut off by the sound of the floo flaring several times in succession, and everyone in the room started bustling about at once. The air thrummed with barely contained excitement, and Remus was grinning at him as he made his way across the room. Harry couldn't help but notice Remus's smile lightened his whole look, making his amber eyes seem to sparkle and he walked with a slight bounce in his step.

Remus grabbed his wrist lightly, and Harry almost made to hold his hand but caught himself. _Not yet!_ He let himself be dragged to the living room, where the others had disappeared to earlier, a smile already plastered across his face. The atmosphere was simply infectious and he found himself grinning in anticipation.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY!" Harry jumped a foot in the air and let out a very unmanly shriek that he'd deny vehemently later. The entire Gryffindor Quidditch team, all of his friends from school, and all of the Hogwarts staff was gathered before him, even Snape. A blush heated up his cheeks at the attention and, to his mortification, he felt his eyes prickling with unshed tears. This was the happiest he'd ever been, he believed. Harry couldn't even begin to believe that his friends would do something like this for him. No one had ever done something like this before. In fact, his birthday was usually forgotten or made worse by the Dursleys. When he was younger he had always wanted a big birthday party like this, friends all around, happiness tangible in the air… And now he had it. His friends grinned at his reaction and rushed forward to hug him. Harry froze up as soon as they hugged him, and Remus quickly rescued him, but not before Harry could give them a quick hug.

"Come on, guys, give the birthday boy some space!" The group laughed and backed up, and Harry plastered a smile to his face despite his discomfort. Remus shot him a concerned look, and Harry gave a slight nod in his direction and a reassuring look. It was okay – he could make it through one day with all his friends here. He was just touched that they would all come here.

"Happy birthday, my boy!" Harry started in shock for a moment before turning to see Dumbledore, bright magenta robes and all. He hadn't noticed him coming up behind him. "How do you like being seventeen?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled knowingly and Harry blushed crimson. Of course Dumbledore would know about Remus and him – he knew everything! In fact, Remus had probably told the headmaster himself; he was far too honorable not to.

"O-oh, it is going great, professor!" Harry stuttered, still blushing fiercely. "I do have one question, though," he said, dropping his voice to a whisper. "How were they all able to come here? Isn't it a _secret _headquarters?" Dumbledore nodded and chuckled merrily, an all-knowing grin on his face.

"Yes, excellent! Professor Flitwick came up with this ingenious little spell to make them forget the location after they left. They'll remember the party but won't be able to remember where it was held!" Harry blinked, not quite sure if he liked his friends being jinxed. But it was for the best, and it wouldn't cause any harm. It was worth it, having them all come here, even if they wouldn't remember the exact location.

As Dumbledore turned to speak to another Order member, the floodgates seemed to open, and suddenly Harry was being passed from person to person, each armed with birthday wishes and summer stories. He found himself laughing along with their antics and anecdotes, feeling more carefree than he had in months. He felt so… accepted. He belonged here, with these people, in this house, far away from the Dursleys. Warm, undiluted happiness rose up in him; he had finally found a place where he was home.

His friends all had different stories to tell about their summer, and he was more than happy to listen. Luna came and kept her distance, somehow understanding his desire for personal space. She had smiled dreamily, and given him the full story on how her and her father went exploring through South America, searching for wild Wumbles, creatures who were extreme environmentalists and only lived to save the forest. Harry listened and chimed in at the right points, playing his part well. He found he loved hearing the stories of her adventures. The world needed more imaginative optimists like Luna Lovegood.

"Oi, Harry! Happy Birthday!" Seamus and Dean came rushing up to him, gathering him in a bone-crushing hug before he had the chance to think. Harry squeaked in fear, already struggling to be released as they pressed on his sore ribs. He was quickly let go of and mustered up an enthusiastic smile, not noticing Remus blatantly observing him in case he needed help. The two boys in front of him had slightly hurt expressions; Harry didn't often deny their affections.

"I'm sorry, guys, I just recently hurt my ribs and I'm still a little sore…" Harry gave them an uneasy smile. He didn't necessary _lie _to them, he just… made it seem better than it was and omitted the causes, perhaps. They didn't need to know the details. His excuse seemed enough for them, though, as they were soon smiling brightly at him once more. Harry also didn't miss their interlocked hands. Grinning, Harry raised his eyebrows at the pair. "Well I see you two have been busy over the summer," he teased, laughing at the blush that stained their faces. It felt good to be so carefree, not a worry in the world.

"Oh, shut up, you git!" Seamus face was beat red, his freckles standing out even more, and Harry and Dean laughed at his reaction. "We were going to tell you soon, Harry, it just sort of… happened." Seamus stole shy glances over Dean, and Harry smiled at the two, proud of them. Everyone knew they'd get together eventually; they had been dancing around each other for months.

"Don't worry, guys, we all knew this would happen eventually. I just wish it had happened over last Christmas break – I would have won the betting pool." Harry winked at them, enticing another bout of laughter from the group. He had missed them, and found himself ecstatic they finally found each other. Of course, winning the betting pool would have been nice, if they had just hurried things along…

Harry, Seamus, and Dean caught up quickly, them retelling all their summer adventures while reminiscing the last school year with Harry. They were still howling with laughter over the prank they had played on Malfoy, dying his hair neon pink for a week and changing all his robes into similar colors, when Remus came over. He hadn't meant to intrude, just to spend a few minutes with his mate, but Harry quickly said bye to his friends to speak to him.

Harry gazed up at Remus with excited emerald eyes still sparkling with mirth, a grin etched across his face, nearly bouncing in his place. Rocking up on his toes, he launched himself into Remus's arms, hugging him tightly. Remus was knocked breathless, frozen for a second, merely staring at his mate in wonder. His arms wound around Harry and he hugged him back, only letting go when he caught Sirius giving them a confused glance. Harry smiled cheerfully up at him still, not perturbed in the slightest.

"I know all of you worked to plan this, so thank you so much. I've never had anything like this; I'm having the time of my life…" Harry trailed off, eyes softening affectionately at his werewolf. "It means the world to me," he whispered, ducking his head as he blushed lightly. Harry could feel eyes on him from around the room and felt his cheeks heating up even more, not wanting to draw any more attention to himself. He started when he felt a hand ruffling his hair affectionately, and peaked up through his fringe at Remus, who's hand lingered a moment longer than necessary.

"It was a pleasure, Harry." Remus laughed as Harry's expression noticeably brightened, and Harry was radiating happiness. "Actually, do you have a moment to talk, privately?" Harry tilted his head slightly, confused at the request, but nodded his consent and followed Remus as he weaved through the crowd toward the stairwell. Nervous thoughts rushed through Harry's head. Remus wasn't regretting anything, was he? Did Harry do something wrong? What if Remus decided he didn't want Harry as his mate after all? Harry's terror kept mounting as they stood in an alcove off the hallway, Remus throwing up a privacy spell.

"Harry, calm down," Remus's voice barely penetrated the thick fog of fear clouding Harry's brain. He heard a sigh, and protective arms wound around him, pressing Harry against Remus's chest. Harry, shocked by the embrace, turned to stare up at Remus, who had concern etched into his face. Instinctively, Harry grabbed the fabric of Remus's shit and pressed his face into his chest, just breathing in his scent for a moment, trying to calm down. "I'm just trying to explain something about Malfoy to you; you have nothing to worry about, my mate. Now take a deep breath and relax." Harry felt Remus's breath tickle his ear as he spoke and nearly melted into the man. Taking a few moments to breathe, he rubbed his cheek affectionately against Remus's chest, who brought a hand up to pet Harry's hair in reply. Harry stepped away as he heard Neville and Ron making their way down to hallway, probably to Ron's room. Harry looked up, apologies on the tip of his tongue, but Remus held up his hand to silence him. "Hush, Harry, you're allowed to be insecure. One day you'll realize that you can do no wrong in my eyes." Remus smiled lovingly at him and Harry sighed in relief, smiling once again.

"Now that that's settled, I need to explain Draco Malfoy's situation to you." This caught Harry's attention and he nodded in response, alert. "He came into his inheritance this June, though not in the same fashion you did. It turns out that his blood was not as pure as we once thought; he has Veela blood. Not enough to make him a full Veela, but enough to give him some of their tendencies. Beautiful, able to use a compulsion to make people fall in love with me, and… he has a mate. Like werewolves, Veelas can also find their fated mate. He did find his mate, Neville, as you might have guessed, but… he is the dominant in the relationship." Harry's eyes had widened, not taking in what was being said. Remus sighed and went to cup Harry's cheek, and Harry leaned into the touch, eyes wide with confusion. "That means that he recognizes you're some creatures… submissive. When you accepted our bond, that marked you as mine in smell. Creatures can tell when you're mated, if it has been consummated, whether you're the submissive or dominant… Only other werewolves can tell exactly who they're bonded to, but Draco can most definitely tell it's to a werewolf and seeing as I'm the only werewolf you know and also carry the newly mated scent…" Harry felt the blood draining from his face despite Remus rubbing his thumb across his cheekbone, trying to keep him calm. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. _That would explain him dating Neville, now… _he thought. Remus took pity on him and continued to speak, and Harry could feel the concern exuding off him in waves. "He won't try and steal you from me or harm you, as he understands the bond mates have, but… he will continue to strike some discomfort in you, maybe even fear. It's natural. Long ago, creatures used to try and steal each other's mates all the time, wanting a magically powerful one. It's no longer in practice, even outlawed, but the submissive in you recognizes you're the most magically powerful candidate in that room, and you haven't consummated your bond either. Malfoy won't harm you in any way, but you'll feel that fear until our bond is consummated, as in another time you would be very vulnerable to him now. You don't have to worry about it, but I didn't want you thinking too much into your wariness. He won't hurt you, I promise," Remus swore as Harry struggled to come to grasps. Malfoy, a _Veela? _It was insane, ludicrous, impossible… yet that perfectly explained the fear that had consumed him earlier, the need to be protected. Harry scanned Remus's eyes, looking for comfort, and he found it. Remus wouldn't lie to him; he truly believed Draco was harmless to him. Smiling tightly, Harry gave Remus a warm hug.

"Thank you for letting me know… I have to say, I was a little terrified when seeing him," Harry admitted, not mentioning his longing to be protected then. He trusted Remus, but he was never one to be vulnerable if he could help it. Harry felt warm lips press to his forehead and he sighed in content. He may not have expected this, but Remus filled him with happiness. He was glad they were mates, as new as it was.

"You never have to worry about things like that, Beloved; I'll always be here to protect you." Harry blushed at the endearment and held Remus tighter for a moment, feeling… special. For once in his life, he felt special. He knew it wouldn't last; he was a freak of nature, and soon Remus would see that as well. Remus pulled away, a concerned glint still in his eyes. Harry let himself be studied for a moment, knowing Remus had seen his flas of sadness, but the man dropped the matter and pulled them back into the hallway, cancelling the privacy spell. They had been gone too long as it was. "Come on, Harry, let's rejoin your party." Harry smiled in reply and followed his mate back downstairs.

Joining the crowd of people once more, it wasn't long before he was being pulled this way and that by his friends again.

"Come on, deary! I spent all yesterday working on this cake; I can't wait till you see it!" Mrs. Weasley came up and grabbed him by his arm, leading him toward the dining room. "Cake time, everyone!" she called out to the rest. The teens let out a loud whoop and rushed into the dining room. With a carefree laugh, Harry broke free of Mrs. Weasley's grasp and followed Ron in, who was already complaining about being hungry even though they had eaten breakfast barely an hour ago.

On the table was a huge cake in the shape of a golden snitch, probably enough to feed a small army. In crimson lettering it said 'Happy 17th Birthday, Harry!' Harry gasped at the sight before quickly turning to Mrs. Weasley.

"Mrs. Weasley, this is amazing, it's the best cake I've ever seen! You really shouldn't have gone to so much trouble, I would have been happy with anything! This is… Thank you so much!" Harry couldn't express how thankful he was, he'd never expected anything like this. His voice got caught in his throat again and he fought down his tears, though they shined in his eyes. Hell, he had expected to be dead for his birthday! Something this amazing… It was hard to grasp. He was a freak; things like this didn't happen to him. People didn't care about him, they didn't throw him huge parties, and they _definitely _did not bake him huge cakes. The whole situation was completely surreal.

Mrs. Weasley, sensing his gratitude, pulled him into one of her tight, motherly hugs. Harry was shocked but didn't protest; she was like a mother to him. "Harry, dear, don't you worry about a thing. I'm always happy to do things for you; you're like one of my own, minus the red hair, of course!" Mrs. Weasley laughed and Harry joined her, reaching up with a free hand to wipe away the stray tears before pulling away from the hug, absolutely beaming.

People gathered around and began singing an off-key rendition of happy birthday, but it was perfect to him. Nothing could darken his mood; he was floating on a cloud. Harry was overwhelmed with happiness. He had to be the luckiest man alive; he sure felt like that, at the moment. Never before had he felt this way at the Dursleys, and now he was free of them forever, free to be as happy as he wanted.

His friends let out a cheer at the end of the song, while Harry leaned forward to blow out the seventeen birthday candles perched upon his cake. One was never too old to make a wish, he supposed… It wasn't hard to think up a wish. _I wish we could be happy for the rest of our lives._

Mrs. Weasley served everyone cake, and convivial conversation erupted throughout the room. Harry was given a large piece of cake and his eyes widened at the size; there was no way he'd be able to finish this! Glancing up at Remus in a panic, he was relieved when he saw the gentle smile and shake of his head. At least they knew he wouldn't be able to eat it all, it was far too much, he'd explode!

Conversation flowed easily between him and his friends. Ron and Hermione included him fully in their talk, not leaving him out like a third wheel as he had expected. They had each other now, why would they have a use for him? They didn't seem to care, though, and spent most of cake catching up with him, laughing and retelling stories. He was happy for them, ecstatic even, he just always worried they'd leave him someday. Harry needed them in his life; they were his constant companions, the people he could always count on. So far they hadn't left him, they had always accepted and included him, but he couldn't shake his lingering doubts. Any of them. He doubted anyone would stick around, even Sirius, Remus, the Weasleys… But they had. Against all the odds, the people he cared about most stayed with him, and that brought another blinding smile to his face. He really wasn't alone.

No fights broke out over cake, surprisingly, as there were so many different personalities in the room. Many eyes kept flicking to Snape and the Malfoys filled with distrust, but no one even tried anything. Harry was grateful for that; he didn't want any arguments on his birthday. The chaperoning adults played a big hand in this, though Harry was unaware of that. Anytime someone in their vicinity would get tense or angry, the teachers would go and calmly remind them to maintain their manners or leave, which usually stopped the fighting.

"I think it's time for gifts, my boy," Dumbledore said from behind him, eyes twinkling. Harry nearly jumped at his presence and blinked owlishly up at him.

"Gifts?" he asked, awe coloring his tone. Harry always received gifts on his birthday from his friends, though each year he was surprised. He was raised to believe he didn't deserve gifts, and simply expected his friends to just stop sending them one year. Everyone grew silent as the watched Harry and Dumbledore's exchange, excitement in the air. Mrs. Weasley tapped the table to clear away the dishes, and the gifts appeared. Harry gasped, eyes widening at the sheer amount. His eyes became wet with tears once more, and he swallowed them down.

"Thank you sir, but I can't-" Harry tried to say, being interrupted by Dumbledore, though.

"Ah, Harry, you haven't even received my gift yet, so you can't turn it down just yet! In fact, I doubt anyone would take back their gift, even if you asked. Your friends _want_ to give you these things, dear boy, and I daresay they'll be successful. So just enjoy it," Dumbledore said softly, peering over his spectacles at Harry. When he didn't protest, Dumbledore smiled jubilantly.

"Excellent!" Dumbledore grabbed a small box for the table and handed it to Harry, who was still shocked over the turn of events. "This is from me, Harry. Go ahead, open it!" Dumbledore couldn't seem to hold in his excitement and Harry found himself smiling as well. He opened the box with care, and pulled out a silver, oval locket attached to a simple long chain. The locket was small enough, with only a simple design of lilies encircling it. Opening it, he found it was empty. "I have enchanted it to be similar to a pensieve. You can store a single memory in it, whichever you wish, and show it to those who have your permission. All you have to do is tap your wand to it to see the memory! When not being viewed, it will simply show a brief moment of the memory as just a regular wizarding photo." Dumbledore was twinkling down at him again and Harry found himself speechless. It was a priceless gift; it must have taken ages to charm! Not thinking about it, Harry reached out and gave Dumbledore a light hug.

"Thank you," Harry breathed, "so much. It means the world to me." He sat back down and smiled up at his mentor, moving to loop the necklace over his head. It came to rest on his chest and he placed it under his robes, concealed from view but so he could still feel its icy presence on his chest.

"Looks like it's my turn!" Sirius seemed to almost bounce over to Harry, a huge grin stretched across his face. It was infectious and soon Harry had a matching smile. "There's the spirit, Harry!" Laughing with his godfather, he watched as Sirius picked up another small box from the table. He seemed to sober while doing so, leaving just a small smile there.

"Now, Harry, it is traditional for the oldest male to receive their family ring on their seventeenth birthday, as it has been passed down through the generation. It carries your family crest and some heavy protection spells, usually." Sirius took a breath, seeming to struggle for a moment. Harry opened his mouth to help, but Sirius held up his hand. "No, let me finish. As your family ring was destroyed during the… attack… I am giving you the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black's family ring. You're my godson, and you will inherit the family fortune and title from me when I pass. This is another thing you deserve then." Harry's heart seemed to stop for a moment as Sirius revealed the treasure inside the box. It was a silver ring that truly stood up to its family's name, seeming to radiate power and nobility. The Black crest was there; two lions surrounding a shield that had a sword bordered by two stars on it. He didn't even have to touch it to feel the protection spells. Harry looked up at Sirius, about to protest, but his look was final. Reaching into the box, Harry slid the ring on his finger, gasping as it resized to fit him perfectly and the magic seemed to coat him. He turned and blessed Sirius with a tight hug as well, whispering his thanks a thousand times over. This meant the world to him, and he made sure Sirius knew it. He was part of a family now, Sirius's family, and that was a priceless gift.

Remus walked up to him next and Harry quickly struggled to hide his blush that immediately heated up his face. Remus gave him a small smirk, before settling on one knee in front of Harry, holding a rectangular package. _Not more jewelry, then… _Harry deduced, his curiosity getting the better of him as his inspected the gift from afar. Knowing Remus, it was probably a book of some kind.

"I wanted to get you something to remind you of your parents, Harry. I know you wish to learn more about them and Padfoot and I haven't told you nearly enough stories yet. You were robbed of your time to get to know them. They were… wonderful people, Harry, and they'd be very proud of you." Remus seemed to struggle over his words, pain coloring his tone. Harry wanted to reach out and comfort him, but he couldn't here, not yet. Remus gave him a strained smile and handing the gift to him. Harry unwrapped it slowly, revealing a heavy, leather bound book. Flipping it up to the front page, his heart beat immediately quickened. It was a photo album, that much was clear. There were scribbles all over the front page, it four different styles of handwriting… _The Marauders! _ Harry realized, eyes wide. "During our years in school, we put together a photo album, starting in our second year. I figured Sirius and I could go through it with you; we haven't looked through it in years, though we'd be happy to retell all the stories. I figured it would give you a chance to finally get to know your parents better…" Remus trailed off, almost _nervously. _Harry quickly hugged him tightly, holding on to him like a lifeline.

"I love it, Remus, thank you so much. It's perfect," Harry whispered, his voice scratchy with tears. Remus lingered for just a moment to long, not noticing Sirius's suspicious gaze, before pulling away and beaming at Harry. Harry was once again shocked at how beautiful Remus looked like this. He seemed younger, eyes bright and uplifting, a brilliant smile upon his face.

"I'm glad," Remus said to him, ruffling his hair affectionately again.

The festivities continued after that. Harry received far more gifts than he expected and tears were almost shed many more times. He received a book on famous Quidditch techniques from Ron, a book filled with advanced defense spells and dueling strategies from Hermione, and the Gryffindor Quidditch team pitched in to buy him a private practice snitch with his name engraved in the gold, which he cherished. He also got a joke bag from Fred and George's shop – no surprise there, new winter robes in flattering shades of blue and green from Ginny, a healing plant from Neville, a preserved flower crown from Luna to keep the Nargles away, and the Order gifted him with some Peruvian Darkness Powder, a handy defensive tool. This brought a small sense of dread with it, reminding Harry of the war he must eventually fight, the world he was meant to save… He couldn't think of it long, though, as soon everyone was making their way out.

Saying goodbye was a tedious affair, as there were so many people to thank, but Harry was just happy to have seen his friends again. Even Snape had said good bye to him, scowling while grounding out a, "Happy birthday, Potter." Harry had to keep his jaw from dropping in shock. Snape didn't say anything else as he turned to leave, but Harry had seen it in his eyes. This was Snape's form of… _apologizing._ Shaking his head, Harry knew he must have seen it all by now. Turning toward his mate, his eyes were still bright with joy.

"Thank you again, Remus, for everything. This was… perfect, an absolutely perfect party," Harry said, beaming up at Remus. The man came and engulfed him in a hug, and Harry nestled in his Remus's arms, comfortable. A wave of exhaustion crashed over him again and he let out a loud yawn, unable to keep it in. Remus chuckled in response.

"I knew you should have gotten more sleep. Come on, Lovely, let's take a nap before dinner, okay?" Harry smiled up at him drowsily, that plan sounding perfect to him. They went up the stairs together, Remus supporting a stumbling Harry. Harry followed Remus into his rooms without questioning it, and quickly joined him in bed. Remus wrapped an arm around him and Harry snuggled in close, immediately seeking his affection. Remus pulled the blankets over the pair of them and Harry fell asleep to the feeling of Remus running his fingers through Harry's hair.

_Thank you so much for reading! I realize you have waited years for this chapter and I hope some of you still enjoy this, especially as it's a longer chapter. Please review!_

_Statistics: this is still my most popular story with **29,313** views (holy shit), **460 **alerts (holy shIT), **308 **favorites (holy SHIT), **12 **communities (hoLY SHIT), and a solid **121** reviews (can I get a JFC HOLY SHIT)! Thank you all so much!_

_Words in Story: 5,021 Words, the most yet!_

_Words including A/N: 5,123 Words_


	5. Breaking

**Title: Delicious Soul**

**Side-Pairings:** Ron/Hermione, Neville/Draco, Severus/Lucius, Past-Sirius/Remus, Sirius/Fred/George, Seamus/Dean

**Warnings:** Slash, Abusive!Dursleys, Threesome, AU, OOC, M-Preg. (Abuse includes verbal, mental, physical, and object penetration. You have been warned.)

**Rating:** M for extreme explicit abuse and future sexual implications.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own. All belongs to J.K. Rowling. Some minor plot points may have been used in another story - I do not mean to steal anything. It is done subconsciously, and only when I read through it did I notice some things seemed slightly familiar.

**Archives:** Fanfiction

**Chapter Posted: **April 20th, 2014 (Happy Easter!)

_A/N: Here if the fifth chapter! Hopefully you enjoy this. Thank you so much for the positive feedback! As for the review replies; I replied to every one I've received so far and I will continue to do so. Each is greatly appreciated. Replies varied, and if you have any questions or suggestions, go right ahead! I promise a lengthy explanation ^-^_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five: Breaking<strong>

**Chapter Warnings: Slash, in-detail mentioning of previous abuse.**

Harry woke to someone petting his hair and the soft sound of pages being turned. Sighing, he turned to nestle into the warmth that surrounded him, comforted by the steady heartbeat. The hand in his hair froze before sliding down to lightly stroke his cheek. In turn, Harry rubbed his cheek against his pillow, letting out a content sigh. The chest beneath him rumbled with silent laughter, which he pointedly ignored. Instead, Harry stretched as much as he could without being moved from his spot, opening his mouth in a yawn. Eyes lazily opening and deciding there wasn't anything important enough to wake him, he nuzzled back down into his mate's hold. The man protested by incessantly prodding his cheek with an elegant finger, attempting to wake Harry. Grumbling in irritation, Harry fought back by rolling on top of the man beneath him, draping his own body over the other's. He heard the air be pushed out of his pillow and smiled smugly, ignoring to man's silent laughter again. Tucking his head under the other's chin, he settled in to sleep, only to feel light fingers walking up his spine. He tried to ignore them at first, but they were constant, flitting over his back. Finally, Harry opened one green eye to glare at Remus Lupin in annoyance.

"Can I help you?" he grumbled, sleep coating his voice. His body was absolutely aching, protesting every movement. He was bruised in places he hadn't known could bruise and they were finally making themselves known, a throbbing pain settling throughout his body. With a groan, Harry dropped his head back to Remus's chest, clenching his eyes shut. He felt Remus place whatever book he was reading as of now beside him, and soon cool hands were on his forehead and chin, tilting his head back to look at Remus.

"Harry, are you alright? Do you need something?" Worry coated his voice. Harry leaned into the comforting hands, eyes flickering back open. He smiled uneasily.

"Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry… Everything's just a bit sore…" Harry said, trying to smile. Remus's eyes widened, recognition flooding into his eyes.

"The potion!" he exclaimed, hands moving to grasp Harry's hips. "We have a pain reliever potion for that, but I left it downstairs with the rest. You stay put and I'll be right back up with it." Remus spoke quickly as he carefully shifted Harry off of him. Harry winced, but Remus was meticulous; he was barely jostled. Lying on his back, Harry's eyes flickered up in surprise when Remus brushed a quick kiss to the top of his head before sliding off the bed. Remus's hair stuck out in all directions and Harry stifled a laugh as he hurried out of the room, glancing back once before disappearing out the door, shutting it gently behind him.

Harry settled back against the pillows and pulled the blanket up to his chin, ignoring the stinging pain throughout his abused muscles. He had grown used to discomfort over the years. He vaguely noticed this was the first time he'd been alone since the incident. He found he didn't mind it, though. No pain or emptiness over Remus being gone, no loneliness, no fear… Harry felt almost okay. But not, at the same time. He wouldn't be okay for a while. So much had happened and it hadn't even been 24 hours since he left the Dursleys'. He'd discovered he had a mate, for Merlin's sake! Normal teenagers didn't have werewolf life mates. Of course, Harry couldn't complain about it. Remus was… amazing. He wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for him. He felt… safe with Remus. Cared for. And he had never truly felt that before.

The door opened again to reveal Remus, smiling sheepishly and holding up a large vial of a brown, disgusting looking potion. Harry groaned. Of course he'd be required to take the grossest looking potion imaginable; just his luck. Remus laughed and strode over to the bed.

"Oh, come now, it's not that bad. You'll get used to the taste," he said, a playful smile teasing around his lips as he sat on the edge of the bed. Harry smiled as Remus reached out to run a hand through his unruly hair tenderly and he leaned into the touch. "Now sit up, lovely, you have to take this. It's mandatory to take one tablespoon every morning for at least two weeks and you can take an additional tablespoon whenever necessary. Which it will be. You're going to be in pain for the next couple of weeks and this will make it better, I promise," Remus said sternly. Harry rolled his eyes as he gingerly sat up, ignoring the aching. He could never take Remus seriously, no matter how hard he tried. Still, Harry found himself smiling cautiously at the man. It was nice to have someone taking care of him, though he reminded himself not to get used to it. Remus would leave eventually; no one could truly care about him for long.

Harry reached out and took the vial from Remus and started to measure out a tablespoon, making a face at the horrid smell. He didn't catch Remus's concerned frown. Watching the sluggish potion pour out, he groaned inwardly. '_There goes my appetite…' _Harry mused.

When the tablespoon was full, he handed the vial off to Remus. Closing his eyes, he quickly downed the potion, nose scrunched up and hands clenched as he prepared himself for the rancid taste. Surprisingly, it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. It wasn't _good_, but it wasn't horrible. It tasted like rotten peaches, but Snape had certainly made worse.

The effect was instant, thankfully. Harry could feel the ache start to fade almost immediately. He smiled gratefully at Remus, who set down the vial on the nightstand and slid over next to him, arms wrapping around him and pulling Harry against his warm chest.

"Better?" Remus asked, a hand brushing through Harry's unruly locks. Harry let out a happy sigh and leaned into his chest.

"Yes." A content rumble sounded from Remus and Harry let out a short laugh. He really was like an overgrown puppy, which Harry hadn't been expecting. Remus had never acted this close to his wolf form before. According the books Remus had given to him, it was normal, seeing as he'd just found his mate and all. It was just such a strange concept. Remus had been searching for _him _for twenty years now. He, _Harry Potter, _was important to someone. Not important like he was to Dumbledore, to the Wizarding World. That importance was born in a dangerous time, when everyone was looking for a miracle and found him, a child who got lucky. They branded him a savior and measured his worth by his use in fighting a war against a madman. The world was placed on his shoulders without training or instruction. People idolized him until he deviated from their perfect view, in which they turned and spat out poison. That was an importance he had never wanted and never would. But now, with Remus… Harry was important in an entirely different way. Important was the lesser adjective, in a way. He felt… _precious _to Remus. Apparently, he was now vital to his continued existence. But it was more than that. It wasn't _just _a physical need for survival. It was as if Harry's emotions were all he cared about now. As if it was Harry who was holding him to the Earth, who kept everything working for Remus. And Harry never felt that way before. And it was so startlingly sudden, Harry didn't know how he was supposed to react. The real question, though, was how long would it last.

A calloused hand covered his eyes and Harry jumped, jostled from thought. He let out a breathy laugh as Remus removed his hand to reveal his smiling face just inches from Harry's, eyes dancing with laughter.

"Peekaboo, what's got you thinking so hard? Don't strain yourself, your poor brain is surely not used to the activity," Remus jabbed, a playful glint in his eyes. Harry let out a laugh, letting his stress melt away. He lightly hit Remus in the back of the head, who gave him a mock wounded expression. "Why, Harry dear, I show concern and this is how you repay me? How cruel!"

"Oh, shut up, you git," Harry said, smiling. "It's nothing, anyway. Just thinking." Remus raised an eyebrow, staring Harry down. He tried not to flinch under the gaze, just smiling reassuringly.

"Well, whatever 'nothing' is, you shouldn't sit here and brood." His voice softened and he reached up, cupping Harry's cheek. Harry leaned into it and let out a relaxed sigh. He was glad Remus hadn't tried to push him for details; Harry liked his privacy and it had always bothered him when people tried to force him to reveal his thoughts. Remus lightly drummed his fingers against Harry's cheek, a pensive look on his face. "Dinner's not for a little while; we should do something while we wait." Harry nodded and sat up more, letting out a yawn and stretching one last time.

"I'm not really… up… for moving around, yet. Do you think… we could stay in here?" Harry's voice was soft and meek as he glanced up at Remus from under his eyelashes, teeth worrying his lower lip. Requests were hard for him; he wasn't supposed to _want _for anything. But with Remus, it was easier to try and be happy.

"Of course, Harry! You shouldn't move too much for the next couple of days, and I'd much rather stay in here with you for now," Remus said, gently swiping his thumb across Harry's lower lip to free it from his fretting teeth. Harry felt himself go crimson, a heavy blush heating his cheeks. Remus's hand seemed to hover there for a moment before moving away. "Let's just stay in bed for a while. We could look through the photo album I gave you, maybe? I haven't opened it since before James…" Remus trailed off, pain flashing through his eyes before disappearing. "I figured we could just start it, and Sirius can join in later."

Harry's eyes brightened and he smiled. "Yes, please! I don't need every detail right now, I just want to look through it and see them, y'know? I want to know what they were like." Excitement had his words tumbling out in a rush and he jerked forward, out of Remus's hold. On his hands and knees, he quickly crawled to the edge of the bed and grabbed the worn photo album from on top of the chest. Remus's arms had reached out after him, still not wanting to lose contact. Harry couldn't blame him; he found he was happiness in Remus's hold, at the moment. He quickly crawled back to his side, missing the slightly lustful look from Remus, who had watched him go. Harry plopped the book on their laps between them, nearly wiggling in excitement. He turned expectant eyes to Remus, who laughed and wrapped an arm around Harry's waist, the other opening the book.

"Might as well get started!"

"_Mssrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present their photo album. Precede with caution," _was printed clearly in the center of the page. Comments were scribed every this way and that around it.

"_Mssr. Prongs would advise you not to open without permission, as there's a reason the most dashing lads in Hogwarts spend most their time in detention."_

"_Mssr. Moony would like to point out that he does not partake in said detentions as he has the sense not to get caught. He would also like to second Mssr. Prong's warning."_

"_Mssr. Padfoot adds that that's only because Mssr. Moony is a boring git, thought quite good at protection charms so one should really not open this unless allowed."_

"_Mssr. Wormtail would like to point out that-" _the end of the comment wasn't readable, blacked out by someone. Remus ran his finger over the line.

"Sirius did this," he whispered, "right after what happened in Godric's Hallow. When he went looking for Peter, he stopped by his home and found this there, as he'd had it last. He was so angry… He cast a curse to black out everything written by him in this album before leaving. We're lucky he didn't just burn the whole thing." Remus's voice was strained as he spoke, hand pressing against the page as if he could absorb the memories. "I wish he hadn't, though. Blacked them out, that is. Peter… was our friend, once. While it's easier to just pretend he was never a part of our life, to blacklist him, it tinges the memories. I'd rather just see him as our friend, a different person than who he became, than block him out entirely, as if he never existed." Remus's voice kept dropping, till it was barely more than a breath. His hand tightened around Harry, searching for comfort. Harry felt his heart break for Remus. While he had lost parents he barely knew, Remus had lost all of his best friends. It was worse to have known them and lost them than to have never known them at all, in a way. He lost Wormtail to his betrayal, Lily and James to Voldemort, and Sirius in a horrible twist of fate. He had been alone. Harry felt the tears building up again and he didn't fight them. Remus already had to live without a mate, something every werewolf longed for. If it was anything compared to the loneliness Harry felt when Remus left him alone, it would have been hell. He then had to live without friends. Without hope. He was led to believe Sirius was the traitor, that he killed all their friends in one foul swoop. Remus had had to live every day without anything to look forward to. He was a werewolf, ostracized by society, unable to hold a job to at least make his miserable life bearable.

Harry felt a tear slip down his cheek and suddenly Remus was there, holding him tightly to his chest, his face buried in his hair. Harry clutched back just as tight, feeling Remus's slight tremors. Everything was silent for a moment, just the sound of Remus's heavy breathing sounding through the room. Remus tightened his grip for just a moment before pulling back, peering at Harry's face. Letting out a tsk, he wiped the single tear away with his thumb, before leaning forward and briefly brushing his lips against Harry's forehead. Harry felt his breath catch for a moment.

"Lovely, don't worry about me. It's all in the past now and everything has fallen into place. Let's just… focus on the happier memories for now, alright?" Harry hesitated, before nodding. It was obvious Remus didn't want to talk further on the subject, and Harry wasn't one to push anyway. Besides, he was rather curious to see some photos…

"Good. Alright, now let's see if this enchantment still works on this one… It works much like the Marauder's Map. Simply place your wand on the front page," Remus drew his wand and tapped it lightly to the first page, "and say 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good'." In response, the book shook for a moment before a shower of maroon sparks came out, revealing new writing.

"_Mssrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs would like to congratulate you on not being a fraud and therefore not having to face our wrath."_

Remus smiled sheepishly as Harry let out a laugh. "Yeah, we weren't that creative with passwords… though, I have to say, our dramatic flair still seems perfectly suited," he said with a mischievous grin, eyes glinting happily. He was relaxed and alight with joy, transforming his face into something Harry couldn't take his eyes off of. He found himself doing that more often; staring at Remus in awe, unable to take his eyes away because he was simply so _beautiful. _Remus, unaware of Harry's scrutiny, turned the page.

There were four magical photos occupying the two pages, neatly aligned, unlike usual Marauder style. They must had carefully been put in by Remus and the comments added later. Harry's eyes were wide as he took in the photos.

The first one showed four young kids, definitely first years, gathered around the Christmas tree in the Gryffindor Common Room. It hadn't changed much, except there was a light flurry of snow, enchanted to fall upon the boys. On the far left was a mousy, awkward boy with blonde hair, amber eyes, and already a few scars marring his face. The young Remus was leaning in uncomfortably, seeming to shift away from the arm around his shoulder, as if not used to such contact. There was no denying his happiness, though; a huge grin lit up his childlike face, eyes bright and wide, seeming unable to contain himself. Harry smiled wistfully – Remus deserved to be carefree like that more often. Harry's eyes moved to the boy next to him. Sirius. His black hair was cut around his chin and his pale skin contrasted it. Grey, aristocratic eyes stared at the camera with such joy and mischievousness that Harry found himself smiling in return. Young Sirius had one arm wrapped around Remus's shoulder, tugging him closer, and another one ruffling the hair of the person next to him. Which led him to James. His father. His hair was just as wild as Harry's, if not more so, and they truly did look alike. All skin and bones, knobby knees and elbows, with large circular glasses perched on his face and hazel eyes looking through them, their only physical difference. He held himself in a relaxed, cocky way and had the constant look in his eyes that he knew something you didn't. In one hand he held a glass of Pumpkin Juice, which precariously sloshed as the picture moved. In the other was a golden snitch, which James would toss up in the air every now and then. Though his father wasn't a Seeker, Harry knew he could've been. He could tell from the scattered boxes around them that the snitch had come from the open practice Quidditch set by James's feet. Next to his father was Peter Pettigrew. He was short and a little round, curling in on himself but pressing as close to James as he could, eyes locked on the snitch. His face was filled with wonder as he watched it, smiling brightly. Harry tried not to dwell on him; despite the years that had passed, Harry still couldn't stand the sight of him. Such a young, innocent version, though… Harry simply wasn't ready to accept that the man that led to his parent's murder could actually be a real person or child, with real experiences and both good and evil inside him. All he could see was a monster, and changing that view would take time.

"_The Marauder's first Christmas, 1971," _was written neatly beneath the photo. Two lines were written off to the side surrounding it, obviously added at a later date.

"_Mssr. Padfoot thinks Mssr. Moony would have been a lot happier if he had just told his friends his furry little secret before this."_

"_Mssr. Moony thinks Mssr. Padfoot should have minded his own business in the first place and adds that this was his best Christmas at Hogwarts."_

Harry laughed lightly, tracing over the lines of writing with his finger. He was able to feel exactly where the quill had pressed into the paper, and there were even a few blotches of spilled ink surrounding the words. It made the whole thing seem a little more real.

"James never let go of that bloody snitch of his," Remus said with a laugh, "despite not being a Seeker. I always knew he would mess with it to impress Lily, but I never had proof until he finally put the damn thing away, a week after him and Lily started dating." Harry listened, smiling at each little detail. Everything, no matter how small, was a key to assembling the puzzle on who his parents were. It made them more human. "I hadn't told them about being a werewolf yet, but it was my best Christmas there. All the other years were shrouded by death, in a way, and we were never all together for a Christmas again. James's parents started taking him home for every holiday they could and Sirius eventually started going with him. I was at the Potters' for one Christmas, but I had my own family to see. James's parents would take in anyone in a heartbeat, no matter their past. They were lovely people. Voldemort's ascent to power began in my first year, though, and after that, nothing was the same." Remus's voice started trailing off at the end, a wistful smile on his face.

"I wish I could have met my grandparents," Harry said, feeling almost guilty. He hadn't thought about them since he was little, when he would spend days sitting in his closet and wish for some distant relative to come take him away from his own personal hell. They never came, but that didn't stop Harry from dreaming of sweet, classic grandparent figures to love him. "I don't even know their names," he confessed.

"Charlus and Dorea," Remus supplied, running a hand through Harry's hair in an attempt to comfort him. "Dory was actually a Black, surprisingly. I think she was Sirius's great aunt or something like that. All pure-blood families are intertwined somewhere," Remus chuckled at this. "Charlie and Dory, as they preferred to be called, were nothing like the Blacks. They remained neutral in the war and so they cared for everyone, no matter their side or beliefs." He seemed to hesitate for a moment, stumbling over his words. "They… were killed not even a month after we graduated Hogwarts. Death Eater attack, and not a random one, at that. Voldemort doesn't accept neutrality, especially from such an important family. James and Lily weren't even engaged yet… That's when James decided to join the Order. Sirius and I had joined already; Sirius wanted to destroy what his family fought so hard to obtain and I had a dream of werewolf rights. Of course, at the time, you couldn't be a neutral werewolf. Both sides were recruiting and I simply chose the less of two evils, I suppose. Not that the Order is evil," he said hastily, catching Harry's mildly shocked expression. "It was just more than an 18 year old, fresh out of school, wanted to take on, especially when forced to make a decision." Harry frowned at this; Remus never caught a break, it seemed. "Your grandparents would have adored you, Harry. They always wanted grandchildren, constantly asking Lily and James when they'd be married…" Remus smiled at the memory, basking in nostalgia.

"They sound like wonderful people, I just wish I could have met them. Any of them, any of my family besides… the Dursleys. They don't even seem real sometimes," Harry said, letting out a resigned sigh. As Remus opened his mouth to speak, Harry cut him off. "No, let's not do this now. Right now, I want to learn more about my parents and the Marauders." Remus gave him a concerned look before nodding and turning his focus back to the page, but not before giving Harry a tight squeeze.

Harry looked at the second picture and immediately grinned. This scene he recognized, having experienced something similar multiple times before. It was taken in the middle of the Quidditch pitch with the entire Gryffindor team. They had obviously just won a Quidditch match, the players covered in sweat and mud and there was a small glimpse of the sulking Slytherin team leaving the pitch. Surprisingly, the two faces he recognized of Sirius and his father were much older. Fourth year, if he had to guess. He glanced at Remus in confusion for a moment at the time jump.

"Remus, are the pictures in chronological order, or-?" Harry asked, being cut off by Remus's answer.

"The first two pages we decided to use as kind of a snapshot of our lives; just a collection of our four favorite photos from throughout the years. The rest of the album is chronological, don't worry," He explained.

Satisfied, Harry studied the photo. He didn't recognize any of the Quidditch players besides his father and godfather, though a few features seemed oddly familiar. Maybe he knew some of their children… It was weird to think about. James was hard not to miss in this photo. He was perched up on his team mates' shoulders, arms raised in the air in triumph, decked out in full Quidditch gear. His mouth was spread into a broad grin that would open to shout something every now and then and he was absolutely covered in mud. Harry himself grinned at the scene; it was achingly familiar and he could recall the joy James must have been feeling with ease. Sirius was there, being one of the members holding up James, supporting his left leg. It was hard to recognize him at first. Long dark hair was tied back out of his face and his skin had darkened to a light tan. Grey eyes sparkled and winked at the camera as he grinned like a madman, pumping his free fist in the air. Harry hadn't known he had been on the Quidditch team, but he wasn't surprised. He _was _surprised by how handsome his godfather had been. No wonder he implied he slept around at Hogwarts; he probably had had people flinging themselves at him left and right.

"_Gryffindor wins the last Quidditch match against Slytherin, 1975," _was written under this photo in the same neat script as before. Surrounding it was numerous comments, two of which had been blacked out.

"_Mssr. Prongs would like to point out his dashingly good looks in this photo and add that today was obviously the day his Lily-flower fell for him."_

"_Mssr. Padfoot adds that he is particularly marvelous looking as well, but seeing as Evans later hexed Mssr. Prongs so he could only speak in Pig Latin and had the words 'sexist pig' painted over his entire body and wardrobe for a week, he doubts Mssr. Prongs's second assumption."_

"_Mssr. Moony would like to clarify that he did _not _teach Lily the spells to do so, merely hinted that there was a certain book on a certain shelf of a certain library and on a certain page she might find the solution for her problems with Mssr. Prongs and so he should get over it already."_

"_Mssr. Wormtail-"_

"_Mssr. Prongs is astonished that his best friends would conspire against him so and is deciding to get new friends as he's obviously not appreciated for his genius."_

"_Mssr. Moony isn't planning on apologizing as it is indeed Mssr. Prongs's fault for being arrogant and implying Lily couldn't beat him in a duel because she's a girl."_

"_Mssr. Padfoot remarks that if Mssr. Prongs isn't capable of getting new friends and would end up sitting with Snivellus if he didn't have the Marauders by his side so he better count his blessings."_

"_Mssr. Worm-" _

"_Mssr. Prongs despises all of you," _was the final comment, abruptly ending the banter. Even with the missing pieces in the conversation, Harry found himself smiling gleefully at the words. Remus was laughing silently and Harry leaned into him, looking up at the man expectantly.

"Alright, so what's the story on this one?" he asked teasingly, though excitement lit up his eyes. Remus ran his hand over the photograph of the jubilant team before starting.

"In our fourth year, Gryffindor went undefeated throughout the Quidditch season. Slytherin almost did; they lost to us. It was, honestly, an epic game. Lasted about six hours, which is quite long for a school match. James, as you know, was a Chaser, and a mighty good one at that. He scored over half the points in the game, including the points catching the snitch got us. He ended up being the first one to spot the snitch, by accident, and told the Seeker, who caught it a few minutes later. Sirius was a beater. I was the one to take the photo, actually, and was the announcer. I started in my second year at Sirius and James's begging…" Remus smiled off into the distance, obviously caught up in the memory, amber eyes fogged over as they remembered. "The day before, James had told Lily she couldn't beat him in a fight because she was a girl and proceeded to ask her out _again. _After a few choice words from me, she found just the right hexes," he said with a proud smirk, "and, at the after party, she cast it. James couldn't speak clearly for a week and no spells could counteract the writing that covered him saying 'sexist pig'. Even McGonagall tried, though I don't think she tried too hard… he deserved it. Lily was the best in our year at Charms, anyway. Needless to say, James didn't talk to me for about two weeks, until the full moon." Here, Remus's smile started to fade. Harry waited for a further explanation, but it never came. He simply stared off into space as a cold silence settled over them. Harry was disturbed by it; seeing Remus like this had him chilled to the bone. He pressed back into the other's chest, trying to get a response from him. Despite the flexing of the hand around Harry's waist, there wasn't one. Frowning, Harry tried again. This time, he turned in Remus's hold, displacing the album as he went. He wrapped his arms around Remus's neck and pulled him into a tight hug, burying his face in the other's neck. Remus's eyes snapped to him and his arms immediately reacted, wrapping around Harry in response. He nuzzled into Harry's shoulder at the contact. Obviously, this was much harder for him than he let on. Harry should have expected that. Reliving memories after so long… that had to be difficult. It was prudent, though, that Remus look at them. If he never faced his memories, never focused on them, they'd just fester like an open wound. Even happy memories would hurt him as they were neglected, as he missed feeling like he did then. There was probably a reason he hadn't looked through the album, and Harry felt warmth flood through him as he realized that Remus felt brave enough to look through it with him. That was a great honor in itself.

Whispering to him, Harry let his lips brush against Remus's neck as he spoke, oddly enjoying the contact. "You don't have to talk about it yet, if you don't want to. If there's anything you don't want to say, that's fine. We'll get to it eventually. But you do have to start facing the memories now. Just take it in small steps at a time. Let's just finish this page, okay? Then we'll do something else that's a bit less… emotional," Harry said, feeling a shiver run through Remus's body as he spoke against the man's neck. He let out a breathy laugh at the reaction. Remus pulled back from the hug, pressing their foreheads together to look into Harry's eyes. Gratitude was flowing from them in waves.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to close off like that," he said before Harry could shush him. "Thank you, for understanding. I don't know what I'd do without you." Just like that, Harry found himself overwhelmed by Remus's words. Newly recognized mates they might be, but he knew Remus meant every word of it. It warmed Harry to his very core. He didn't have long to think on the matter, though. Remus shifted him around with his arms and placed the book back in their laps. This time he pulled Harry completely back into his chest and rested his head on Harry's shoulder, peering over him to view the next photo. Unbeknownst to Harry, he rapidly paled.

"Harry, maybe we should just stop now and do something else, there's no need to see these photos. Or we could just skip ahead?" he offered, almost frantically. Harry cast him a surprised look; this wasn't like Remus at all.

"I want to see these ones, to stay in order. Relax, we'll be done soon," he replied, rather baffled. Remus watched on with slight dread as Harry turned his attention to the photo.

"_July 5__th__, 1977, Summer at the Potters'," _was the caption this time. It would have been the summer before their seventh year, Harry mused. This time there were only three of them in the picture, splayed out in the grass with a large mansion in the background.

Obviously this was taken at his father's house, probably the Potter ancestral home. Harry knew about this one; he would have inherited it if it hadn't been burned to the ground by Death Eaters at one point after his parent's deaths. They had apparently lived there before moving to Godric's Hallow, which had only been their safe house. None of it was familiar to Harry, though. The house was large, easily three stories with multiple wings. Bigger than Grimmauld Place, definitely. The picture was taken from the back of the house and Harry could make out a rather large rose garden standing out against the sides of the white house. It was the people that captured his attention next. Originally, he was filled with excitement as he glanced over the three boys there, much older than they had been in the last photo. James was laying out on the grass, supporting himself up with his arms, a relaxed smile on his face. Next to him was Remus and Sirius. It was them who made Harry freeze. His entire being felt icy and breathing seemed harder. Harry was distantly aware of Remus tightening his grip and trying to speak to him, but he didn't hear the words.

The image was burned into his mind. Remus set next to a young, handsome Sirius, smiling up at the camera, an unhindered happiness shining in his eyes. His arms, though, were wrapped around Sirius, pulling the other boy into his chest. Sirius had laughed, eyes bright, before leaning up and pressing a kiss against Remus's cheek.

That was what killed him.

Judging from the picture, Remus and Sirius had obviously been in a relationship. How could he not have seen it? They had always been close, in a way they hadn't been with his father. That night in the Shrieking Shack, when Sirius proved his innocence… he had looked at Remus like he was his salvation. And this… this was before their seventh year. Before Remus turned 17. Before his inheritance. Harry had been his mate – not Sirius. It was his fault. They must have broken up; a werewolf couldn't date someone who wasn't their mate. Judging by how happy they looked… that must have killed them. And it was all Harry's fault. How could Remus not blame him? He could have had _Sirius; _gorgeous, funny, mischievous Sirius who was his best friend. And then he couldn't. Because Harry just _had _to come along, he just _had _to be born. Pain rushed through him, constricting his heart. And how could Sirius even stand him? He had stolen his boyfriend, for Merlin's sake! Harry started hyperventilating, trapped in his own thoughts, not feeling the worried hands cupping his face.

* * *

><p>Remus knew as soon as he saw the photo that it would be an issue. He didn't expect something quite this bad, though.<p>

Harry was unresponsive. That was the first thing he noticed. Then it was the elevated heart rate, yet ice cold freezing skin. Remus wrapped his arms around his little mate, trying to speak to him, trying to calm him. Next came the hyperventilating and his worry skyrocketed. Normally he'd be shocked by such a reaction, as having a previous relationship wasn't that rare. Harry wasn't a _normal _person though; he was his new mate, and thus already filled with insecurities about their budding relationship and quick to make jealous; it was just instinct. To make matters worse, he was already fragile as it was. Harry was a broken boy who grew up without love or confidence, making him think the worse of every situation. His self-confidence level was in the negatives. And while Remus was trying to help, he knew this would be a setback.

His own heart raced as he knocked the album to the side and pulled Harry into his lap, cradling him to his chest. It was no use. Harry's eyes were fogged over, tears streaking down his cheeks every now and then, breathing rapidly. The wolf was howling inside him at the pain he could see in his eyes, longing to do something to help. It wasn't that easy though. Remus could protect Harry from anyone who tried to hurt him, but when it was his own mind against him… there was nothing he could do but be here for him. He cupped Harry's cheeks, panic seizing him.

"Harry, come on, love! Just let me explain. It means nothing, it was 20 years ago! I promise, please! Harry, I need you to come back to me!" he pleaded, lightly shaking Harry. "Harry, how I felt about Sirius doesn't even compare to how I feel about you!" The change was slow, but noticeable. At that statement, the breathing started to slow and recognition sparked in his emerald eyes. Remus sighed in relief and started pressing kisses to the top of Harry's head, whispering calming words as he came down from his panic attack. Those would be common for a while, sadly. It made him furious, deep inside, but he didn't let it show. The Dursleys would pay for their crimes eventually. Right now, his panicked mate deserved his full attention.

Harry sniffled and Remus felt his heart break a little at the pitiful sound. "I-I'm sorry, Remus, I didn't know about you and S-Sirius. I promise I didn't mean to-" Remus cut him off there, not able to hear the rest. Harry had nothing to apologize for and he needed to know that.

"Hush, Harry, love. You have nothing to be sorry for. Sirius and I… we were a thing for a while, about eight months. I did love him," Remus admitted. He felt Harry stiffen in his arms and quickly continued, "but not nearly as much as you. Sirius and I knew the repercussions when going into it; we knew we only had until my birthday to be together. In fact, we broke up the month before hand in order to come to terms with it. We never expected to be together forever; I could never spend an eternity with him. While we got along very well, it could never even compare to my relationship with you. I'm over it. He's over it. Neither of us could ever resent you, Harry. Sirius was angry at the idea of a mate for a short while, but never at the actual person. I'm sure he'll be rather angry with me when he finds out _you're _my mate, but not because of our past relationship. He loves his two rambunctious lovers more than anything and he wouldn't trade them for the world. He'll probably accuse me of being a cradle robber and yell at me for daring to even _think _about his godson romantically. That's just him protecting you though, love; he loves you, very much." Harry barely moved during his explanation, just sniffling into Remus's chest. He felt hands clutching at his shirt the entire time and longed to fix Harry's hurt. He almost seemed to be in shock, though.

"Promise?" Harry finally whispered after a long beat of silent. Remus's heart soared; that was a very good sign.

"With everything I have, I promise, Harry," Remus said hurriedly, doing whatever he could to reassure Harry. He felt him nod against his chest, and let him pull back. Green eyes gazed up to him, turmoil lurking in the depths, rounded with red and still wet with tears. _Beautiful. _If only Harry could see just how stunning he really was, to see what Remus saw… His heart ached at the pain he saw there, though. It would take a long while for Harry to believe in Remus and have self-confidence. So very different from his arrogant father…

"I'm sorry I freaked out," he mumbled, ducking his head. Remus sighed in exasperation and carefully tilted Harry's head up to face him. Eventually he'd be okay, but the road to that was certainly trying.

"Don't be sorry, lovely, I'm just glad we cleared that up," Remus said, pressing a kiss to Harry's forehead. In the back of his mind, he mused how long it would take for Harry to actually kiss him. Of course, he didn't mind the wait. He'd wait forever for Harry.

Suddenly an idea struck. He could simply _show _Harry how important he was to Remus, how much he had longed for him. Sure, it would be a tad embarrassing, but for Harry… He'd see it all eventually anyway.

"I want to show you something, Harry," he finally said. Harry stared up at him in confusion before nodding. Carefully, Remus stood from the bed, taking Harry's hand in his. He led him to the end of the bed and sat them down in front of the ornate chest he had kept for ages. He blushed just looking at it. While most of it had been filled during the three years after his inheritance, he still found himself adding things to it when the urge hit. Just last week he had purchased an expensive travelling cloak, way out of his budget, and added it to the chest, purely because of how soft and warm it was. His mate deserved the best and he had never stopped to think about the price before. He simply saved up until he could get whatever he was drawn to for his precious mate, even when he doubted he would ever find him.

"I figured if you don't believe me when I say how important you are to me, I might as well show you," Remus said sheepishly, ducking his head to hide his blush. Harry ducked against his chest so he was staring up into Remus's eyes, smiling radiantly.

"While I'd like to see what's inside, you don't have to show me, I do believe yo-"

"No, you don't," Remus interrupted, rolling his eyes with a teasing smile. Pulling Harry close to him, he quickly inhaled his scent to keep calm. "Let's get this over with…" he mumbled, ignoring Harry's laugh as he reached to open the chest.

Remus watched Harry's eyes widen at the sheer amount of _things._ It had been rifled through that morning by Remus, but the travelling cloak was still on top, along with stacks of books and fabrics and boxes and all the shiny things Remus could find. Harry looked up to him, excitement shining in his eyes.

"Go ahead," Remus said with a laugh, motioning toward the stacks. Harry pulled away from him cautiously, as if unsure of his movement. He looked at the things like they weren't actually his, and Remus almost scoffed. As soon as Harry touched them, he'd know; they were all meant for him. He was right. He could see it on Harry's face as he stroked the cloak, wonder in his eyes. He knew, consciously, that Harry would like them. They were all _meant _for him; of course he would. But deep down, instinctively, his desire to please him was so strong he found himself gripped by worry and doubt.

Remus needn't worry, though. Harry rifled through the things, taking out a few and looking at them in reverence. Remus could tell just from his eyes that Harry loved it all. He knew from the moment Harry picked up to traveling cloak and rubbed the soft fabric against his cheek, eyes closing in pleasure at the touch. Remus felt breathless; he'd never become accustomed to Harry's beauty. Every now and then he'd glance over at Remus, eyes either wide with doubt or curiosity. Remus would rub his hand soothingly in circles on Harry's back and give a brief description of the item. A leather collar with 'Moony' engraved on it had him particularly embarrassed, but Harry merely smiled when Remus explained he wanted Harry to know he belonged to him as much as Harry belonged to Remus. He did laugh at the matching collar, though, this one much smaller and more delicate with 'Moony's person' engraved in it. There were quite a few fabrics. Blankets he thought were soft or warm, patches of fabric, satin squares cut from samples; anything that Harry might enjoy the feel of. There were pillows, a variety of clothes, all spelled to fit any size. A roll of crimson ribbon had Harry laughing again and he pulled out some, jokingly wrapping it around his unruly hair and posing. He had lightened considerably since the photo fiasco. There were a few extravagantly designed jewelry boxes, which were filled to the rim with sparkling and shining jewelry. Remus tried to ignore Harry's baffled expression, as it was now becoming obvious he had spent a small fortune, over half his earnings, on the contents of this chest. There was also a wizarding camera and an empty photo album, which Remus explained was for documenting their life together, along with a few journals Harry could fill. Not to mention the books; tons and _tons_ of books on absolutely every subject, which had Remus blushing again.

The next thing that froze him was when Harry curiously picked up a black satin ring box. Without thinking, Remus reached over and plucked it from his hands, causing Harry to turn and look at him, shocked. Blushing, Remus light caressed the box.

"What's in it?" Harry asked curiously, tilting his head slightly. Remus bit his lip nervously.

"It doesn't matter, they're not important at the moment," Remus mustered hastily. Harry just raised an eyebrow, staring at him incredulously. "Well, it's important, just, umm," Remus stumbled over his words and kept his eyes locked on the box.

"You don't have to tell me," Harry supplied quietly. Remus's head snapped up and he sighed at Harry's put out expression.

"Yes, I do," he sighed. "They're… bonding rings. That is, if you ever decide to bond with me," Remus said quickly, watching Harry's expression carefully. His face was frozen in shock, eyes wide. Not good. "In the future. Far future. I just… didn't want to show you until then. I want that moment to be special. I got the rings as soon as I could afford them after my inheritance hit; I think they were the first things I got for you." He struggled to push down his blush. It was Harry's expression that scared him, though. Something was brewing behind his eyes.

"You… you did so much for me, without even knowing who I was. You waited so long and just… Why? Why would you do so much for me? A _freak!" _Remus's eyes widened as he could almost feel the snap within Harry. Placing the box down he jerked forward to catch Harry as he crumbled to the ground, sobs starting to wrack Harry's thin frame. They knew this would happen; he'd have to break eventually, he couldn't keep it locked up forever. Remus just held him, trying to calm him down.

"Nobody has ever loved me and no one ever will! I've always been a freak! Not normal, not natural, not important, not precious, just _worthless. _The only thing I'll ever be good for is cooking and cleaning and doing what people want. I have to make up for myself somehow," Harry sobbed out. Remus looked on helplessly, anger growing within him. He wanted to interrupt but he knew Harry had to let it all out first. "My whole life I've been waiting for someone to _care, _some to want me! Everyone left though. Everyone leaves, in the end. How could anyone care for someone as dirty as me? I should have died with my parents!" Remus's heart broke for his mate and he held him tighter, eyes glowing nearly gold in anger and sadness. "And you! You saved me, rescued me from that rotten place, and all you got in return was some broken _whore. _He-he… my uncle… he _touched _me. He-he did things. He… r-_raped _me! I'm dirty and I'll never be clean again! How could someone like you ever want someone as worthless as me? I'm _nothing_," Harry choked, curling in on himself, tears flowing down his face. Remus's heart froze. What did someone say to that? How could he help? He couldn't deny it; Harry needed serious _medical _help. He'd reassure him as much as he could, but problems that flowed this deep… He needed a therapist or someone similar. He had been beaten down, abused, neglected, and violated, and he showed it. Remus wasn't enough to fix this. He'd wait to suggest it, but eventually Harry would need someone to help him, someone other than his mate. He'd just think Remus was biased eventually. Right now, though, Harry's cries were slowly lessening and he needed Remus's help. Steeling himself, Remus tried to comfort him, keeping his voice as low and calming as possible.

"You're not a freak. You're not worthless. You're not a whore. You're _my Harry. _You're absolutely precious. You've… been through more than people twice your age have gone through. You've lost more than you should in a lifetime and you never deserved what happened at that rotten place. Your presence on this Earth makes it a better place; you are priceless and unique and beautiful and you'll do so much with your life. You're special like that. You care about people no matter what. You are _you. _Not what people tell you you are, not what you want to believe you are, and not what people expect you to be. Nothing can change that you are Harry, just Harry, and that's all I'll ever expect you to be. I care about you with all your flaws because everyone has them, love," Harry was staring up at him, pink lips parted in shock, eyes wide and shining with tears. Now came the hardest part. Remus breathed deeply, bracing himself. His voice shook with barely concealed anger. "And I will destroy your uncle for what he did to you. You didn't deserve that in any way imaginable. He was cruel and delusional. What happened to you doesn't make you dirty or worthless or a whore. It was horrible, but you've survived it, and you will continue to. And so I've gained you as my mate. Someone beautiful who I wouldn't trade for the world," Remus said, sincerity present in every word. Suddenly Harry was throwing his arms around his neck, sobbing once again. Remus held him, aching from the pain Harry was feeling, but he knew that at least now he was on the road to recovery.

It took a while, but eventually Harry's crying started to subside to just small sniffles. Remus had sat and petted his hair, holding him while he cried. When Harry looked up at him with puffy eyes and flushed cheeks, he simply smiled and wiped away a few lingering tears.

"There we go, lovely. Letting it out is good for you," Remus whispered, giving him a tight hug again. Feeling Harry relax against him, he let him rest there a moment before standing them up, still holding onto Harry. "I think… I think you should tell your godfather what happened. You need someone to be here for you, other than me. You need someone to play the role of the parent and I, thankfully, am not close to that." Instead of exploding like expected, Harry started up at him with frightened eyes before nodding.

"I know," Harry whispered, voice croaky from crying. Remus blinked in shock before smiling and leaning down to kiss the tip of Harry's nose.

"I think we should go talk to him now. You need to let it all out, so it's best to at least start now, before you lose your nerve. I promise he'll love you no matter what, Harry. I'll be with you the entire time if you want me to be," Harry was uncertain, hesitating in his movements, before finally nodding up to Remus.

"Just stay with me, please," he murmured. Remus stroked his cheek once more before taking his hand and leading him toward the door.

"Of course," he said as he started to open the door. With the door opened almost half way, he froze for a second, staring at Harry who looked back at him in mild confusion. Smiling, he pulled Harry toward him abruptly, hugging him close. He breathed deeply, inhaling the wonderful scent of his mate, and smiled and Harry curled into him. Pulling back, he dropped his head to press a kiss against Harry's cheek, lips lightly touching the soft skin. They lingered for a moment before he pulled back and leaned his forehead against Harry's, smiling at the happiness he found in Harry's face.

"I'm so proud of yo-" The clearing of a throat interrupted Remus and his eyes widened in shock. He whipped around, instinctively covering Harry's body with his own, eyes darting toward the threat.

Sirius Black stood there, arms crossed as he glared at his best friend, anger radiating from him.

"And _what, _exactly, do you think you're doing with _my _godson?"

* * *

><p><em>Words in Chapter: 8,999 – do NOT expect chapters to be this long again, please. It will probably happen now and then, but this was a rare occurrence. They'll usually be a minimum of 5,000 words from now on though.<em>

_Words total: 9,282_

_Story Stats: (Note – I put these here as a thank you to everyone who helped me achieve these, not for any other reason.) Since the last chapter, this story has gone to 33,205 views, 511 alerts, 343 favorites, 12 communities, and 139 reviews! Thanks to everyone so much!_

_Updates will be delayed until after June 6__th__, most likely, as school is getting extremely busy. I'll work on the next chapter whenever possible, though._

_Thank you! Review please!_


End file.
